Coping with a loss? We’ve all been there. When you’re recovering from the death of a loved one, it can be easy to get lost in your emotions and lose sight of whether or not your outfit is on point. If this sounds like you, don’t worry! We’re here to provide you with some solutions to remind you of what’s really important—looking amazing! Here are some tips on getting it tight during this difficult time.
Stage 1: Shock
Outfit: A Latex Catsuit with Spiked Metal Accents
What better way to embody the state of disbelief and disorientation you’re living in than by dressing like you’re not yourself? Your coworkers literally won’t believe how hot you look when you show up Monday morning sporting this daring getup. The spiked metal accents will add that extra shock factor, just like when you found out someone close to you was gone forever. Your boss will insist that you go home, but you’ll insist, “No, it’s better for me to be busy right now, otherwise I’ll fall apart.” Do what feels right!
Stage 2: Denial
Outfit: Last Summer’s Denim Cutoffs
It’s natural to be in denial about a sudden and horrific event—and it’s also natural for you to be in denial about what’s seasonally appropriate right now. It doesn’t matter that it’s almost winter or that you’ve gained a good ten pounds since you last wore them—throw on a flowy blouse and forget all about those popped buttons. All that matters is that your ass looks amazing, and no one can really say anything to you because you’re going through a lot right now. One step at a time!
Stage 3: Anger
Outfit: Bandage Dress and Stilettos
When a loved one departs from your life suddenly, your uncontrollable rage might bubble to the surface, but this skin-tight number and a good pair of Spanx will ensure that your love handles won’t! Pair this dress with your highest heels for a look that channels the pain into hot raw power. Grrr! Why didn’t that doctor do more to save her? Rawrrr!
Stage 4: Bargaining
Outfit: Vintage Romper
Feeling out of control and like you want to turn back time? Pair your desperate bargains with God with this super cute bargain from the vintage shop. You’d do anything to make things how they were before, even have an all-day wedgie!
Stage 5: Guilt
Outfit: A Handmade Sweater
Are you feeling like maybe you could’ve somehow prevented this tragedy if you had been more present? Use that guilt to fuel a cute crafty sweater that you will never actually be able to gift to the deceased. Sure, it may not be perfect, and actually now you’re realizing that you could have done the stitching differently, and in retrospect you should have chosen green for the accents, and maybe the whole thing was a huge mistake, but girl, you look fantastic! Have you considered opening an Etsy store? Seriously, it would offset the cost of that pricey casket you were upsold on.
Stage 6: Depression
Outfit: Classic Trench
You’ll make heads turn in this look that’s as timeless as the indiscernible number of days you’ve spent pondering the futility of your existence. A coat with plenty of pockets can add a sense of mystique, even though in reality they’re empty; completely empty inside. Sexy!
Stage 7: Acceptance
Outfit: A Sheer Top with No Bra
Ready to move on? Shed your baggage—and your clothing—with this fresh fashion fix! As you come to terms with having no control, rock that carefree attitude with a little visible nudity and show off your sexy, healing self.
Now that we’ve outlined the steps, you’ve got the tools you need to look fresh to death during your grieving period. Stay strong, ladies, and remember: All pain is temporary, but looking good right now is forever!