Author Archives for Candace Mittel

Summer Scarves That Say, ‘I Got My Neck Sucked Like A Preteen Last Night’

Wow! Study Finds That You Can Vote For Hillary And Keep Your Dick

Sleeveless Turtlenecks That Are Perfect for No Fucking Season

How To Stay Fit by Running To Your Car Every Night Because The Dark Parking Garage Is Scary As Fuck

4 Gorgeous Rings To Get Stuck On Your Swollen Fingers This Summer

5 Mind-Blowing Sex Positions You Can’t Try Because Your Mom Pulled You Out Of Gymnastics

Woman In Middle Of Giving Birth Runs Home Real Quick To Check If The Oven’s On

5 Lip Glosses That Will Give You Herpes Because You’ve Owned Them Since Middle School