If you want to spice things up in the bedroom, you don’t need any fancy bells and whistles, just good, old-fashioned flexibility! We rounded up the five most tantalizing sex-positions to blow your man’s mind that you can’t try because your mom pulled you of gymnastics when you were eight years old because she didn’t want you to have stunted growth.
The Counter Splitter
The Counter Splitter is the perfect low-maintenance, high-reward sex move! All you need is a kitchen with a counter, and a gymnastics education that extended well into your teen years. Oops! Sit on a counter while facing your partner and pull your legs up and over his shoulders. Soon you’ll be headed to Sensation City, overwhelmed by pleasure and a pulled muscle because you haven’t stretched like that since you “showed promise” at the gym in 1994. Thanks a lot, Mom!
Tired of the boring, normal cowgirl position? We are too! That’s why you have to try Cartwheel Cowgirl, the sexy position where you actually cartwheel into cowgirl. Your man will be so impressed he’ll worship you for weeks, or at least he would if only you had good form. If Mom really cared, she would have at least kept you in gymnastics long enough to get this one down.
In this intense position, you’ll connect with your man in a way you never thought possible. While you’re in a backbend, your man will be able to enter you deeper than you thought possible! Of course, it can be tricky if you can’t do a backbend, which you definitely can’t do since your mom was more concerned with “driving you back and forth all the time” than you being able to reach new levels of orgasm.
The Hypnotic Headstand is seriously mind-blowing, but only if you can sustain a headstand for more than five seconds, and don’t even think about propping yourself up against a wall. If your mom hadn’t crushed your dreams of becoming the next Shawn Johnson, you’d be able to feel your beau nail you while you’re upside-down, but she did so now you can’t. It’s like she didn’t even know what she was doing!
With these five mind-whirling, super-sexy positions, you’ll be able to reach heights of pleasure you could have never imagined—if only your mom had let you stay through Intermediate Level at The Little Gym. Oh well, there’s always missionary!