Most people are just doing their best, but that doesn’t mean you can’t call them out using Imogen Heap’s most celebrated lyric and Jason Derulo’s most beloved sample. By asking someone mmm what they said and mmm if they only meant well, you can get them to repeat what they said, and have them question why they said it in the first place. Here are four situations to which you can respond, “Mmm whatcha saaaaaay? Mmm that you only meant well?” that will have people asking themselves the tough questions.
With An Overdemanding Boss
Your boss is making everyone at the firm stay late to finish the big case so you don’t have to come in on Saturday. Sounds nice, but what if she didn’t mean well?? When she breaks the news, confidently stand up and ask, “Mmm whatcha saaaaaay? Mmm that you only meant well?” If she says, “No, I was being selfish, my son has a soccer game on Saturday”, then you know you did the right thing. If she responds “yes”, then sit down and quietly say, “of course you did”.
With A Clumsy Phlebologist
You have to get blood tests because you have a history of mild anemia, but then your phlebologist misses your vein. You may think the best thing to say is, “ouch!” but next time, try “Where are we? What the hell is going on?” Your phlebologist will then apologize, explaining that he couldn’t find your vein. You can forgive him, with a simple yet sure, “mmm that it’s all for the best.”
With Your Ex-Boyfriend
Your ex-boyfriend texts you to ask when he can bring by a couple things you left at his apartment. It’s hard to know what to say to an ex, so you can start with a long “mmmmmm”. He’ll answer something like, “what?” or “…”, but you can follow up with a snappy, “whatcha say????” At this point, he may not respond. If he does answer with “sorry I just thought you should have your stuff”, you can respond, “Mmm that it’s just what we need? And you decided this. What you saaaaaay? Mmm, what did SHE say?” He’ll know what he did.
With The Garbage Truck Outside Your Window
You’re awoken by a garbage truck outside your window. Sit up, open your window, and scream, “MMM, THAT YOU ONLY MEANT WELL?” As they drive away with your trash, fall back asleep while whisper singing, “you don’t care a bit, you don’t care a bit, you don’t care a bit, you don’t care a bit.”
Be careful though, because after everyone reads this, they might respond with “Mmm whatcha saaaaaay? Mmm that you only meant well?” And there is really no situation in which you can respond to “Mmm whatcha saaaaaay?” with “Mmm whatcha saaaaaay?” Except sometimes.