You may have heard about women who didn’t know they were pregnant – I did, too. Until I simultaneously found out I was pregnant and also, did you know that pickles are actually cucumbers? Like, what?!
The crazy thing is that I eat cucumbers all the time. I slice them up and put them up sandwiches, salads, and even in my water for an extra refreshing taste. Oh also I kept gaining weight, mostly in my belly which seemed weird, and I figured I was just bloating real bad from eating salt or whatever. But nope, I was pregnant, and those pickles I was craving were actually just cucumbers soaked in brine, which I also like (probably ’cause they’re kind of the same thing! Who knew?!).
I know it seems strange that someone could be so out of touch with their body to not know that they’re pregnant, but you’d really be surprised how these things slip by. Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s right in front of you, like that I had gained weight, no longer got my period, had really bad heartburn, swollen breasts, and pickles and cucumbers are the same shape, color, and texture but taste different. Isn’t that kinda fucked up?
Whenever I bring it up, my friends are like “Stop it you’re embarrassing yourself” but I think these things need to be said in case there’s anyone out there like me, who has only a loose understanding of how pickles and babies are made.
“Pregnant women tend to crave pickles,” my rude friend said when I mentioned my new craving. “I can’t be pregnant,” I told her. Then she uttered the words I had never heard before: “Antibiotics can cause birth control pills to fail. Also, Pickles are cucumbers.”
Apparently, pickles are merely cucumbers that have been jarred in vinegar, garlic, salt and dill. What the fuck? That’s what pickles are? That’s it?! They are just cucumbers that have been marinated and seasoned?! Wow!
“Does everyone know about this?!” I asked my friend.
Yes, duh!” she said.
I looked it up later and also took a pregnancy test and it turned out that I was pregnant that whole time! Not only that – pickles are cucumbers! I couldn’t believe it. You never think something like this is going to happen to you – that you could be so clueless. But it turns out vinegar and antibiotics are incredibly powerful.