How To Stay Fit by Running To Your Car Every Night Because The Dark Parking Garage Is Scary As Fuck

Staying fit is hard. Between late nights in the office and midnight martinis with the girls, it can feel impossible to schedule in gym time. But what if you didn’t have to go to the gym? Busy, empowered women just don’t have time for that! Here’s how to exercise in your everyday life by literally sprinting to your car in your dark, scary parking garage.


Park in the Spot Furthest Away From the Elevator

This one is easy since most mornings you are late to work and those bitches in HR take all the good spots close to the elevator anyway. Instead of looking at this as an unfortunate situation, you can turn that frown upside-down and know that this is the first step to a new and fitter you. Now you’ll have double the distance to sprint when you’re terrified out of your mind and just want to get safe inside your car. Way to challenge yourself!



Work Late

Working late might sound like a drag, but it’s actually a great thing for bikini season! When you’re finally ready to leave your empty office after 9, the adrenaline will really start to kick in. Since you parked in the farthest spot from the elevator in your office’s rundown parking garage, make sure that you’re engaging your core as you dash to your car in fear of your life. Now that’s a full-body workout!


Don’t Text For Help

There’s no one—literally, no one—around, so you might feel like texting someone to come pick you up or at least to walk you to your car. Don’t do that. And DON’T send Andrew from Tinder a quick, “Hey, just wanted you to know I’m still alive” text. And DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT texting Marcus from Papa Johns—you can’t fear-exercise away a bad diet!


Fear the Worst

Instead of staying calm, let your mind wander and visualize the worst things that can happen to you in this vacant, dark garage. Then turn that dangerous situation into an opportunity to sculpt that booty! So take that elevator down to P2, grab your bedazzled pepper spray keychain, take off those heels, and make a run for it. Let your adrenaline carry you faster and further than you could ever imagine your body moving in the safety of daylight.


Between your fear and your sprinting, you’ll be safe in your with 1000 calories burnt to the ground. When you’ve got fear-for-your-life on your side, those winter rolls just melt away!