Personal Brand Guidelines If Your Name is Kendall And You’re Good With People

News

Woman Thinks She Can Just Decide On An Entree While Everyone Else Orders

Admit it’s not going to happen and get a Caesar salad.

Love and Sex

Fun Date Spots That Say, ‘I’m Your Granddaughter From The Future’

These platonic dates will help you cut the ties with your sexually frustrated grandpa.

Love and Sex

Cool-Girl Emojis That Will Earn His Respect

These emojis will make you seem laid back and chill, unlike the colorful cake pop.

Living

How To Feel Full On Just Your Birth Control

Even on placebo week, you can feel full all day long.

Living

How To Negotiate A Hostage Situation According To Your Kidnapper’s Sign

You will absolutely have a better understanding of your kidnapper now.

Love and Sex

I Got Rid of Everything That Reminded Me of Matt, Except These 14 Things

I am 100% moving on from everything except his half eaten box of cheez-its.

Style

How to Correctly Apply Blush, You Whore

Make sure you blend, you little slut.

Style

Party Dresses That Say, ‘It’s My Birthday And Someone Has To Fuck Me’

Unofficial birthday rules say you’re owed at least one birthday pity fuck!

Love and Sex

5 Kissing Techniques to Show Him You’ve Totally Moved On

You don’t even miss your ex at all because you guys are still having sex.

Style

6 Cute Updos That Say ‘I’m A Sweaty Little Pig’

That’ll do, you sweaty little pig!

News

Successful Woman Dies From Brain Being Picked to Death

Karen was known for her generosity and intelligence, the unfortunate causes of her demise.

Thoughts

How Dating An Older Man Helped Me Learn To Check My Voicemail

I had never checked my voicemail in my life, but when Roger explained the simple process, I felt so free.

Podcast

On Mouth Time: It’s LMK Day! (w/Sudi Green)

Quenn and Div celebrate LMK (let me know) day and talk about their new album, Abbey Road.

News

‘We Can Still Win This Thing,’ Says Man As Wife Files Divorce Papers

“That’s because the marriage game is rigged.”

Living

5 Easy-to-Grow Fresh Herbs to Let Rot on Your Windowsill All Summer

Here are some of the easiest to herbs to let wither into brown, shriveled strands!

Love and Sex

Is He Giving You Butterflies or Is Your IBS Flaring Up?

Are you really falling for him, or just falling behind on your hourly Pepto Bismol dose?

Style

Delicate Midi Rings That Say, ‘I Want Your Dick To Break Me’

These little halos sit at the top of your finger and tell the world you’re yearning to be split in two!

Style

5 Makeup Removers That Don’t Work As Well As Crying Uncontrollably

These makeup removers are great, but fall short when compared with a long, hard sob.

I Lived it: Thoughts

We Were All Ready To Go And Then Michelle Had to Pee

We were about to walk out the door, and then everything fell apart.

Living

6 European Hideaways You Won’t Visit This Summer, You Peasant

Summer is the perfect time to jet off the Europe, but not for you!

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RECENT POSTS

Personal Brand Guidelines If Your Name is Kendall And You’re Good With People

Woman Thinks She Can Just Decide On An Entree While Everyone Else Orders

Fun Date Spots That Say, ‘I’m Your Granddaughter From The Future’

Cool-Girl Emojis That Will Earn His Respect

How To Feel Full On Just Your Birth Control

How To Negotiate A Hostage Situation According To Your Kidnapper’s Sign

I Got Rid of Everything That Reminded Me of Matt, Except These 14 Things

How to Correctly Apply Blush, You Whore

Party Dresses That Say, ‘It’s My Birthday And Someone Has To Fuck Me’

5 Kissing Techniques to Show Him You’ve Totally Moved On

6 Cute Updos That Say ‘I’m A Sweaty Little Pig’

Successful Woman Dies From Brain Being Picked to Death

How Dating An Older Man Helped Me Learn To Check My Voicemail

On Mouth Time: It’s LMK Day! (w/Sudi Green)

‘We Can Still Win This Thing,’ Says Man As Wife Files Divorce Papers

5 Easy-to-Grow Fresh Herbs to Let Rot on Your Windowsill All Summer

Is He Giving You Butterflies or Is Your IBS Flaring Up?

Delicate Midi Rings That Say, ‘I Want Your Dick To Break Me’

5 Makeup Removers That Don’t Work As Well As Crying Uncontrollably

We Were All Ready To Go And Then Michelle Had to Pee

6 European Hideaways You Won’t Visit This Summer, You Peasant