4 Calming Yoga Poses That’ll Get You Just a Lil’ Horny

News

BREAKING: Mom is Gonna Do a Big Shop

“Just say you’re going grocery shopping.”

White Woman Speaks: Thoughts

White Woman Speaks: I Prefer to Use the Term African-American, Regardless of Where a Black Person is From

My African-American British barista has reminded me of that several times.

News

Cat Remains on Bed for All of Sex

“He’s already been here through two orgasms, so I suppose he can just stay.”

Thoughts

I Love Having Tattoos, But I Wish More Men Would Stop Me and Talk to Me About Them

Seriously, what’s the point of having tattoos if not to get specifically guys to look at me?

Style

Cute Summer Dresses You Will Change When Your Friend Arrives to Better Match Her Vibe

Oh well! You can wear this another day.

Style

4 Summer Dresses that Say, ‘This Company Doesn’t Make Clothes for My Body Type’

At least it was worth checking!

Thoughts

Stop Asking Disabled People If We Can Have Sex And Start Asking Us How To Pronounce Sex, Because You’re Pronouncing It ‘Sax’

How do I pronounce the word spelled S-E-X?

Style

4 Drugstore Mascaras That’ll Give You Big Ol’ Snuffleupagus Eyes

You’ll be saying: “Damn, is that me or the beloved Sesame Street puppet Snuffleupagus?”

News

Woman Will Pay Just About Anything For Beverages Containing Trace Amounts of Weed

“It really takes the edge off. At least I think it does.”

Living

Fuck! Hat a Huge Mistake

Shit, that sucks!

Thoughts

Why I Want My Funeral to Be Open-Casket and Also Fully Nude

I want to go out of this world the way I came in: with my bare boobs and clam out, for all to see.

Thoughts

How I Stopped Getting Unwanted Attention From Men by Running For President

The future is female! And entirely invisible!

Thoughts

Why I’m Not Having Kids Unless Someone Leaves a Baby On My Doorstep

I’m not saying do it, but I’m not not; you know what I mean?

Style

Leopard Caftans for Delicately Whispering, ‘Where Are My Cigarettes?’

Embrace this cozy elegance as you grasp for a pack of Virginia Slims 100s!

News

REPORT: Woman’s Bed For Sleeping On One Side and Leaving Trash On the Other

“Women will toss just about anything on there, from orange peels, loose contact lenses, even to full loaves of old bread.”

I Lived it: Thoughts

I LIVED IT: My Friend Stopped Following Me Online So I Killed Her

Sorry, that’s not a friend. To me? That’s a dead woman.

News

REPORT: Short Man Compensating With Shitty Personality

The doctor clarified that he would advise no one date Floyd, even pity dating.

News

Guy at Chipotle Building Your Burrito Like This is a Game to Him

Sources confirm that Brendan doesn’t understand the gravitas of the burrito-building process.

News

Barbie Claims She Just Gets Along Better with Kens

“I guess after years of catering to the dreams of young girls, she just needs a little male approval.”

Dude Corner Thoughts

Dude Corner: Why I’m Not Ready for a Female President, But Totally Stoked for a Woman to Rule Westeros

I am in full support of pretty much any woman ruling Westeros, as long as she is hot and does not run against Bernie.

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RECENT POSTS

4 Calming Yoga Poses That’ll Get You Just a Lil’ Horny

BREAKING: Mom is Gonna Do a Big Shop

White Woman Speaks: I Prefer to Use the Term African-American, Regardless of Where a Black Person is From

Cat Remains on Bed for All of Sex

I Love Having Tattoos, But I Wish More Men Would Stop Me and Talk to Me About Them

Cute Summer Dresses You Will Change When Your Friend Arrives to Better Match Her Vibe

4 Summer Dresses that Say, ‘This Company Doesn’t Make Clothes for My Body Type’

Stop Asking Disabled People If We Can Have Sex And Start Asking Us How To Pronounce Sex, Because You’re Pronouncing It ‘Sax’

4 Drugstore Mascaras That’ll Give You Big Ol’ Snuffleupagus Eyes

Woman Will Pay Just About Anything For Beverages Containing Trace Amounts of Weed

Fuck! Hat a Huge Mistake

Why I Want My Funeral to Be Open-Casket and Also Fully Nude

How I Stopped Getting Unwanted Attention From Men by Running For President

Why I’m Not Having Kids Unless Someone Leaves a Baby On My Doorstep

Leopard Caftans for Delicately Whispering, ‘Where Are My Cigarettes?’

REPORT: Woman’s Bed For Sleeping On One Side and Leaving Trash On the Other

I LIVED IT: My Friend Stopped Following Me Online So I Killed Her

REPORT: Short Man Compensating With Shitty Personality

Guy at Chipotle Building Your Burrito Like This is a Game to Him

Barbie Claims She Just Gets Along Better with Kens

Dude Corner: Why I’m Not Ready for a Female President, But Totally Stoked for a Woman to Rule Westeros