RECENT POSTS

News

Putting Plastic Ballsack on Car Found to be Among Safest Ways to Express Masculinity

Thoughts

Gabby Wants To ‘Lay Low’ For Her Birthday, but Does That Mean She Wants Me to Plan Something?

Yikes! I gotta save my girl!

News

Bra Dies After Six-Month Battle With Big Tits

“Needless to say, me and my boobs are devastated.”

News

Yikes! New Crush Tweets At Companies

Oh no, Kelsey! Run in the opposite direction!

Thoughts

Why I Stopped Using Tinder and Started Walking Around My Neighborhood in Shorts

I’m drowning in suitors!

Thoughts

I Was Joking When I Crashed Your Car Into the Lagoon, but I Will Apologize to Anyone Who’s Actually Offended

I am a comedian who pushes boundaries.

News

Man Who Prefers Brunettes Only Talking About The White Kind

“I’m allowed to be attracted to a hair color!”

Thoughts

Why I’m Not Bringing My Child to Church Until She’s Old Enough to Decide If She Likes Gothic Architecture

God bless!

Thoughts

I Cured My UTI By Just Drinking Water. Now I’m A Homeopath.

I was put on this earth to help people discover the powers of alternative medicine.

Thoughts

I LIVED IT: I Only Slept 7 Hours Last Night

That’s right: I slept 7 hours and my bodily functions are shutting down

Living

How to Politely Decline When a Friend Sends You a Song Recommendation

Maybe your friend should try being a little more like Spotify!

News

Mom Just Checking In To Make Sure You’re Not Vaping

“We still don’t know the second hand effects, so I’d rather you not be in a room with someone who’s vaping.”

Thoughts

Why I Cut Out All My Toxic Relationships – Except for Dairy

This is just one relationship that’s worth the digestive abuse.

News

‘Pads Feel Like a Giant Diaper,’ Says Woman Stuffing Wad of Rough Cotton Up There

“I just can’t see how people sit in their period blood all day!”

News

Uh Oh! Flaky Friend Actually Following Through On Plans

“I’m excited that we’re actually gonna hang out this time!”

News

‘I Know Exactly How You Feel,’ Says Friend Who Is Actually Thinking of How She Feels

No one is expected to know how anyone else is feeling any time soon.

News

REPORT: Vagina Smells…Off

“It’s not really a crazy difference, but it is…different.”

Style

5 Tricks to Keep Your Bangs Looking Cute But Realistically Still a Little Fucked Up

Try not to use heat tools, but definitely don’t throw them away.

News

Yikes! White Friend Asking Uber Driver About His Ethnic Background

Hannah shows no signs of stopping.

News

Woman Playing It Cool Around Grocery Store Samples

Shandra Voight is playing it incredibly cool in spite of the fresh samples being put out at her local Whole Foods.

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