In news out of Cliffside Park, NJ, Shandra Voight is playing it incredibly cool in spite of the fresh samples being put out at her local Whole Foods.
Despite skipping lunch and entering the store ravenously hungry, Shandra was cool as a cucumber as she sauntered past an attractive display for her favorite brand of brie and a new lentil cracker that’s high in protein – and in flavor.
After a renewed offer from the store employee giving out the samples, Shandra finally gave in and grabbed just one small paper cup full of crackers and cheese as if it was no big deal.
“Ooh that’s pretty yummy,” she said with the casual air of someone who wasn’t absolutely foaming at the mouth for food that is both delicious and free.
“Try the other cracker if you want,” said the employee, but Shandra was already yards away, acting as though food was the farthest thing from her mind.
In the 30 minutes she spent at the store, Shandra hit up three other sample displays, offering no more than a calm curiosity and a mumbled “thank you.”
“I guess she’s not that into nuts,” said Tom Curran as Shandra casually passed by his display of candied cashews, completely unaware that Shandra fucking loves nutty treats.
From the parking lot, Shandra explained her strategy.
“You’ve got to throw ’em off your scent. Otherwise, next thing you know, the stores aren’t even giving out free samples. I’ve learned how to keep my cool under pressure.”