Mom Just Checking In To Make Sure You’re Not Vaping

It’s all over the news: Vaping has caused the deaths of at least three people. And your mom has taken notice, sending you no fewer than three articles and a text that says, “You’d tell me if you’re vaping, right?”


The sensational headlines and cloudy data have not fazed to your mother, who simply must know if your lips have ever touched a vape, and if you are going to die.


“Just checking,” she added, with a feigned casualness that did not mask the anxiety spiral she was clearly experiencing.


While you don’t use the black-market vapes that seem to be a subject of concern, you’ve firmly concluded that your mother doesn’t need to know about your occasional weed vaping in between smoking actual marijuana, which she also doesn’t need to know about, due to some upcoming study that will surely be vastly misrepresented in every single AP publication at some point in the near future.


“Nope,” you texted mom, not nearly allaying her fears as much as you’d like.


“Good. Just be careful! People are dropping dead all over the place!” she said, referring to the handful of people who’s vaping habits and other existing health conditions have not been entirely disclosed in the media.



After a minute she added, “We still don’t know the second hand effects, so I’d rather you not be in a room with someone who’s vaping.”


After you spent a few minutes trying to calm your mom down, you promptly went in your bedroom to vape a little bit in order to relax.