News ARCHIVES

Woman Sends Annual ‘What’s Up’ Text to Friend With Pool

‘It’s Not a Big Deal,’ Says Woman Who Texted ‘I Have Big News’ Earlier

‘I Like Soccer,’ Says Woman Who Likes Hot Men

Man Amazed That You Like Yourself

Scientists Find Hovering Ass Slightly Over Public Toilet Seat Prevents Most Major Illnesses

Woman Waiting for Right Moment to Ask New Guy Exact Day, Location and Time of Birth

Token Desi in Friend Group Mistaken for Token Latina

‘I Just Want the Best for You,’ Says Man Who’s Sure the Best Is Him

Woman Says ‘I Love This Song’ After Every Song on Her Own Playlist

Woman Hopeful Dog’s Erection Unrelated to Her

Best Friend Downgraded to Close Friend

Scientists Discover 4 More Verses to ‘Love On Top’ That Only Dogs Can Hear

‘Don’t Stretch It Out,’ Says Woman Who Is Dead to Me

Man on Phone Is Missing Me Walk By

‘No, I Don’t Work Here,’ Says Shopping Black Woman, Again

Woman Has Unrealistic Standards on How Late She Can Leave for Work

Moon Looks Cool Tonight, According to Boring Date

Word ‘Dude’ Reserved for Most Serious Arguments

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