BREAKING: Hot British Guy Doesn’t Have an Accent Via Text

In a developing story out of San Francisco, the hot British dude that 26-year-old Hannah Deville has been dating does not seem to have an accent that carries over to text.


“Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy and all,” said Hannah.”But his accent is so cute, so him not having one when he’s texting is a huge problem.”


Hannah has tried a few methods to make his accent more apparent textually.


“I’ve tried gently goading him into using more British slang, or reading texts in his voice,” said Hannah. “But they still just read like a boring, regular English speaker from Ohio.”


Several friends are reporting that he is “significantly less hot” over text and are “worried” he may be less interesting than they once thought.


Harry Stoneham, the British man who is a solid 7 but upwards of a 9 with the accent, is rightfully confused.


“It’s admittedly starting to feel like she only likes me because I’m English,” he added. “It feels like I’m being objectified. Seems a bit daft.”



But Hannah’s frustration is palpable.


“He never uses words like ‘daft’ in text,” she said. “That would honestly help a lot.”


“I just think that if he’s gonna have an accent in person, he should still be hot when we’re texting,” she said. “But I already want to fuck him significantly less.”


As of press time, Hannah is yet to respond to Harry’s last text: “sup”