Woman Who Wants to Tell You in Person Just Wants to See the Panic in Your Eyes

After 28-year-old Amanda Gorden mentioned she had some “big news” to share, Gorden insisted on having all of your friends over in person so that she could fully see the panic in your eyes as she made her announcement.


“I really wanted to invite my friends over for a home-cooked meal to thank them for their undying love and support,” says Gorden. “But more importantly I wanted them there so I could see their jealousy manifest in front of my eyes as I told them my news.”


“I wanted to confirm I was, in the end, the most successful,” she said. “It was just so beautiful to see it right in front of my eyes.”


Upon arriving at Gorden’s house, you and two friends were told to sit down and “wait for it.” Reports confirm Gorden emerged wearing a veil, holding out her engagement ring and screaming, “Ben proposed!” She then proceeded to watch your fearful eyes worry about your love life and the fact that you’re 27 and have never been truly emotionally or sexually satisfied.


“I’m really happy I got to share that special moment with my best friends,” says Gorden. “And it made it even more special to feel their anxiety about their miserable relationships bubble up inside of them.”


“Now that I know they’re envious, I’m confident that marrying Ben is the right decision,” she added.


Gorden’s ulterior motive didn’t go unnoticed.


“I know Amanda invited me over so she could see me battle with my own stress about my love life,” says Daniella Suarez. “But instead I jumped around with her, popped some champagne and did my best to not cry my eyes out that my ex-boyfriend Connor is dating a girl with cool bangs and a better job.”


Sources confirm you felt similarly devastated by the situation, but didn’t want to give Gorden the satisfaction of seeing you worried that you’ll never find a man you like enough to go out to dinner with let alone live a life with.


When reached for comment, Gorden responded:

“I’m so glad my friends were so happy for me. I love them! I do wish one of them would have started crying out of severe bitterness though. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”