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Mom Afraid iPads Are Going to Ruin Kids’ Ability to Engineer Deeply Unrealistic Maladaptive Daydreams
“They’re completely losing out on the poignant experience of restlessly pacing in their room.”
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Woman Hopes No One Thinks She’s Weird for Dancing on the Dance Floor Where Everyone Else Is Dancing
She was dancing in the way a human does, in a situation universally deemed acceptable to be doing so.
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‘Honestly, I Prefer Their Earlier Stuff,’ Says Dad About His Teenage Children
“The stuff they’ve been churning out recently is, frankly, shit.”
Living
How to Clean Your Home So Well It Feels Like You Don’t Deserve to Live There
In just 20 short minutes, your apartment will be unrecognizable in a scary way!
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Scholarship Application Requires Quick Introductory Video of You Begging on Hands and Knees, Dancing Like a Monkey
“Just absolutely groveling for it. Wailing is permitted but not required.”
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Woman Never Goes 50/50 on a Date Because She Never Gets Asked Out on Dates
“I refuse to split the check! That’s what I imagine I would say on a date.”
