RECENT POSTS

Living

Wedding Gifts That Say, ‘We Get It, You’re In Love’

Thoughts

I Didn’t Join This Restorative Reiki Beginners Workshop to Make Friends

This is Restorative Reiki for Beginners, not Restorative Reiki for New Friends Who Give a Shit.

Love and Sex

Budget-Friendly Travel Ideas for the Couple Looking to Break Up

Relationship problem solved—on a budget!

Living

Spice Up Your Fall With a Basket of Deplorables

Make the perfect basket of deplorables to add anger and dissent to any fall gathering!

Podcast

On Mouth Time: Adulting! (w/ Shannon O’Neill)

We discuss why women need safe and reliable access to Lacroix, meet the Editor-in-Chief of Reductress, and talk to the financial adviser to the WNBA stars.

Style

Blushes To Make Your Cheeks Look Like Lil’ Cherub Butts

This is the natural progression of wearing blush.

Thoughts

If Donald Trump Becomes President, I Am Moving to Alaska

I won’t want to be an American anymore! That’s why I must go to Alaska.

Living

8 Cranberry Cocktails That Won’t Help Your UTI At All

These yummy cocktails won’t help your UTI a bit!

Style

Cute Outfits That No One Fucking Instagrammed Tonight

Watch as your night takes off while no one reaches for their phone to document it!

Living

The Best Wines To Pair With Your Shitty Attitude

Pairs smoothly with the snarky comments you like to make under your wine breath

Style

Shawls That Say, ‘I Also Have A Wind Chime Garden’

That’s your personal brand and you should embrace it!

Thoughts

I Fucked My Husband Every Day For a Year and Now We’re All Fucked Out

At least we got all the fucking out of the way at once. Now we’re all set!

Living

Ways To Play It Cool When Debby At The Salon Gives You An ASMR Bodygasm

Try to keep it together when Debby is kind of getting you off.

Living

6 Guys You’ll Meet At The Gym Despite Your Best Efforts

Try to avoid these guys and workout at the same time!

Living

Perfumes You Could Use Instead of Spraying Febreze Down Your Bra

With perfume on, people at least know you tried!

Style

4 Horizontal-Striped Shirts That Say, ‘I’m Reading a Book Set in Europe’

Can’t afford airfare? Put on a shirt!

Living

5 Magical Summers to Remember Fondly Instead of the Real Ones You Spent at Fat Camp

Magical moments that would have lasted a lifetime if you had only been there!

Living

5 Ways to Make Peace With The Ghost of a Murdered Silent Film Ingénue Living In Your House

Keep that murdered ingénue happy!

Style

5 Colored Powersuits That Say, ‘If I Were a Man I Would Have So Many Solar System Ties’

The next best thing to tying Jupiter round ya neck!

News

Time for Becky to Start Freaking Out About Halloween

Despite the fact that it’s months away, it is officially time for Becky to start freaking out.

Podcast

The Best of Mouth Time!

The best celeb interviews, games, and bits are all in this week’s Best Of Episode!

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