As a busy city dweller, you spend lots of time bustling to and from work and play. Adding a luxury gym to your routine can boost your energy, help you de-stress, and provide the perfect environment to not really exercise, but take a poop and a shower whenever you need it. Here are New York’s best luxury gyms that offer top-notch classes, highly trained instructors, and top-of-the-line equipment that you will never use, because you’re just shitting and showering.
Mercedes Club, $179/month
Situated in Hell’s Kitchen, the 80,000-square-foot Mercedes Club boasts a packed group fitness schedule, indoor and outdoor pools, a bocce ball court, putting green, and outdoor decks for lounging. Also, there are tons of toilets and showers. It’s a fantastic place to get your heart racing, break a sweat, relax with a spa treatment, or just take a poop and a shower.
Reebok Sports Club/NY, $225/month
This giant, gorgeous facility on New York’s charming Upper West Side has some of the best classes we’ve seen. The sparkling amenities feature swimming pools, rock climbing walls, basketball courts, and a stunning roof decks for sunbathing, but why would you do that? The best way to enjoy this club is to drop a steaming hot shit before hopping into a steaming hot shower. True luxury!
E at Equinox, $25,000/year
E, is actually a club within a club: an exclusive zone within the flagship Equinox at Columbus Circle where invitation-only members work out with elite trainers on equipment used by professional athletes. But here’s the good stuff: they have beautiful toilets to poop in and sleek, gorgeous showers for washing yourself after that really terrible poop.
Core Club, $50,000 initiation, $15,000/year
The Core Club is more than a gym; it’s social club where the super rich rub elbows. As a member, you get access to its fitness facility run by one of Madonna’s former trainer, get to poop in a toilet, eat at their restaurant, watching a movie in the screening room, take a shower, poop, take a shower, and poop and take a shower. Core is the perfect hideout whenever you need to negotiate the release of some chocolate hostages before you take your tushie to shower town. What an investment!
With their elegant design, premium equipment, world-class instructors, and locker rooms, these gyms are sure to help you push your athletic limits in sheer luxury—and take some really satisfying poops and showers.