4 Canvas Tote Bags That Say, ‘My Houseplants Are Still Alive’

Nothing says you have your shit together more than having living houseplants, and nothing says you have living houseplants more than a nice, sturdy, neutral canvas tote bag. So when your life feels out of control, accessorize with one of these cool canvas tote bags to project otherwise!


‘You’ll Be Amazed’ Transport Tote (TOM’S $58)

This canvas tote by Tom’s practically screams “do-gooder plant-keeper-aliver”! With this baby hanging off your shoulder, everyone will assume you’ve got a healthy Aloe vera plant on the sunny windowsill above your (sparkling clean) kitchen sink. Careful—even you might forget that you’ve actually got a week’s worth of dirty dishes piled up, and that you’re seriously considering just throwing them in the garbage instead of washing them. Nice!


Canvas Shopper (BAGGU $36)

Carry this BAGGU tote to casually convey that you own a white leather sofa, Scandanivan lighting fixtures, and a couple of Spider Plants that are totally, undeniably, 100% still alive. Never mind that your bedroom floor is actually covered in dusty laundry piles, cat hair, and unpaid bills—the minimalist, neutral grid pattern on this bag more than compensates!


Fresh Flavors Canvas Tote (Martha Stewart Collection $28.99)

What a fun and fruity lifestyle disguise! It’s as though Martha herself is letting everyone know that your indoor English Ivy is bright green, and that you constantly offer to clip off starters for your friends, since it’s growing so fast and well. No one needs know that the only graham cracker crust at your house is what’s accumulating between the couch cushions! Shhh!



Cactus Print Tote Bag (Forever 21 $1.98)

If you’re on a tight budget, grab this tote to let everyone know that at home, your potted cacti are lined up neatly against an unobstructed, eastern-facing window—not the window facing the alley where everyone in the building throws their garbage, a.k.a. the only window in your apartment. With this bag, all the boys will assume that you didn’t overwater them, and made more than a five-dollar pledge to NPR once!


No matter how crazy and disorganized your life is, these canvas tote bags are practical and neutral enough to hide it. You’ll always look like you’re carrying fertilizer back from the plant store because you’re that good to your houseplants. Someday your life will be perfect, but in the meantime, trick everyone with the perfect accessory!