Lots of women choose to wear men’s deodorant. Not only does it typically provide a higher level of sweat protection, but the masculine scents will also startle you so you go, “Fuck! Is there a man around?” every time you catch a whiff. Here are the best men’s deodorants for triggering feelings of dread and annoyance.
Degree Men Adrenaline Series
The manly “Adventure” scent of this deodorant will make you think that, once again, a guy sat way too close to you on a nearly empty train. Then you’ll remember you borrowed your boyfriend’s deodorant that morning and the smell is actually you. Close call!
Old Spice High Endurance Deodorant
While you’re walking home late at night and smell Old Spice, your heart will quicken and you’ll have to look around to make sure you’re not being attacked. Luckily, your deodorant is (almost) up to the task of handling your panic sweat. Get inside as fast as you can!!
Every Man Jack Sandalwood Men’s Deodorant
Sandalwood is never a scent you want to smell too strongly in the workplace, and you’ll briefly worry that Mark from sales has taken his inappropriate comments to the next level before you realize that you’re wearing the one deodorant that prevents pit stains. Lucky you!
Axe Fresh 24-Hour Deodorant Stick
As you walk home to the parking lot, the olfactory trigger of Axe will make you instinctively grip your keys in your hands in case you need to stab a man. Not to worry, girl! It’s just you!
Gillette Sport Clear & Refreshing Gel Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant
While you’re at the gym wearing men’s deodorant because you’re not fucking around in there, you’ll briefly forget that you’re the one who smells like spices and wonder if you should have covered up more. Phew!
Hugo By Hugo Boss Deodorant Stick
At a club, the cologne-y scent of your own deodorant will make you feel the phantom touch of a hand on your waist and a whisper of “excuse me, beautiful” in the breeze. Luckily, you’re not being harassed. Dance the night away—until someone actually gets way too close to you! Fortunately you can explain this one away with, “Isn’t it kind of messed up that women’s deodorant doesn’t work as well as men’s deodorant?”
When buying deodorant, it’s important to weigh the pros and cons of smelling like sweat and smelling like the demographic most likely to approach you against your wishes. But being a woman is fun, just as long as you remember where that smell is comin