White Friend Who Got Lip Fillers Seconds Away From Saying Something Problematic

News

Hawk Who Snagged Chihuahua Worried He Works Too Much To Care For It

Caring for the dog has already cut into the hawk’s professional life.

Thoughts

Here’s Why I Use My Boyfriend’s Arm Veins As Water Slides

When your boyfriend is a water park, every day is spring break, baby.

News

Nation’s Retailers Announce Plans to Keep Making Cropped Sweaters Just a Little Too Cropped

Consumer feedback to the announcement is overwhelmingly negative.

News

Notes App Haunted Graveyard of Serious Text Drafts

“Oh, my fucking God. Uuugh! Glaring typo.”

Dude Corner Thoughts

DUDE CORNER: My Dad is the Funniest Guy I Know

I can’t even tell you how many girls I’ve watched Anchorman with just to see if they get it.

News

Report: Co-worker on Honeymoon Insists on Calling Into Meeting

Best wishes to the happy couple—Melissa and her work!

Living

QUIZ: Would Oscar Isaac Love You, Like, If He Really Got to Know You?

He knows you know who he is, but he wants to know you.

Style

5 Noise-Canceling Headphones That Do Nothing to Drown Out Your Inner Monologue

The one downside? You can never block out the time you called your teacher “Mom” in the 5th grade and everyone laughed at you.

News

Family Fears Mom’s Wine Drinking Getting Clichéd

“The situation is becoming a little played out.”

Living

Whoops! Everyone in Meeting Zoned Out Because They’re Thinking About Getting Laser Hair Removal

At press time, a local dermatologist missed several calls requesting appointments because she too was staring into space wondering if she should get laser hair removal.

Entertainment

5 90s Era Photos of David Duchovny to Pound Your Clit To

After looking through these photos, the only X-File left unsolved will be how your clit survived that amazing pounding.

Love and Sex

How to Pick a Fight With Your Partner Then Cry Because You’re Fighting With Your Partner

Bring up the past for no reason other than knowing that you’re not supposed to.

News

‘Girl’s Girl’ Revealed to Be A Decent Woman

The tests were graded on a scale of “not at all” to “totally.”

Living

The 4 Best Apps For Selling Your Shitty Clothes

It’s incredibly easy to list your items. Just don’t expect anyone to buy them.

Love and Sex

Does He Love You, Or Is He Too Cheap to Buy His Own Vape?

Walk away while you still have some vape left.

News

Obsessed Much? This Kid Is Tracking Santa’s Every Move

Okay, psycho!

News

Wow! Scientists Have Created a Robot So Humanlike it Pretends to Have its Period to Skip Gym

“We wanted to explore how laziness and bullshit excuses might manifest a more humanlike AI.”

Thoughts

Why I Don’t Need to Get Married to be Fulfilled Because I Sang a Duet With a Boy Once

Who needs a lifetime of marriage when I can just replay this 3 minute 28 second memory until I die?

News

This Woman Was Visited By Three Ghosts On Christmas Eve Because They Don’t Understand Personal Boundaries

“What a bunch of inconsiderate assholes.”

Thoughts

Why I Want My Ashes Scattered On the Default Mac Background Mountain

I don’t even know where it is. Do you think I could reverse Google image search it?

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RECENT POSTS

White Friend Who Got Lip Fillers Seconds Away From Saying Something Problematic

Hawk Who Snagged Chihuahua Worried He Works Too Much To Care For It

Here’s Why I Use My Boyfriend’s Arm Veins As Water Slides

Nation’s Retailers Announce Plans to Keep Making Cropped Sweaters Just a Little Too Cropped

Notes App Haunted Graveyard of Serious Text Drafts

DUDE CORNER: My Dad is the Funniest Guy I Know

Report: Co-worker on Honeymoon Insists on Calling Into Meeting

QUIZ: Would Oscar Isaac Love You, Like, If He Really Got to Know You?

5 Noise-Canceling Headphones That Do Nothing to Drown Out Your Inner Monologue

Family Fears Mom’s Wine Drinking Getting Clichéd

Whoops! Everyone in Meeting Zoned Out Because They’re Thinking About Getting Laser Hair Removal

5 90s Era Photos of David Duchovny to Pound Your Clit To

How to Pick a Fight With Your Partner Then Cry Because You’re Fighting With Your Partner

‘Girl’s Girl’ Revealed to Be A Decent Woman

The 4 Best Apps For Selling Your Shitty Clothes

Does He Love You, Or Is He Too Cheap to Buy His Own Vape?

Obsessed Much? This Kid Is Tracking Santa’s Every Move

Wow! Scientists Have Created a Robot So Humanlike it Pretends to Have its Period to Skip Gym

Why I Don’t Need to Get Married to be Fulfilled Because I Sang a Duet With a Boy Once

This Woman Was Visited By Three Ghosts On Christmas Eve Because They Don’t Understand Personal Boundaries

Why I Want My Ashes Scattered On the Default Mac Background Mountain