‘Girl’s Girl’ Revealed to Be A Decent Woman

A joint study out of Barnard and Mt. Holyoke Colleges has revealed that the Girl’s Girl that they’ve been observing for the past year is actually just a Decent Woman.


Scientists from both schools are surprised at the results.



“Based on her behavior, we thought we were dealing with a typical Girl’s Girl — She showed respect for female etiquette, avoided pettiness, and was supportive and empowering in her interactions with other women,” explains the project leader, Dr. Laura Montgomery. “But, when we compared those traits to that of a Decent Woman, we found they were the same – the Venn Diagram was a complete circle.”


Other scientists on the team have brought their own personal experiences to the testing.


“I’ve always thought of myself as a Girly Girl with Tomboy Qualities,” explains Dr. Amy Pritchard. “As I near 40, I’m suddenly realizing that maybe I’m just a nice lady. This whole process has been incredibly eye-opening.”


The study included rounds of questions, including: “Your best girlfriend just broke up with her boyfriend, who you have a crush on…do you ask him out?,” “How quickly will you defend your girlfriends in front of others?” and “Can you walk into a room of unfamiliar women and just be kind?”


The tests were graded on a scale of “not at all” to “totally.”


Currently, the research has focused on one individual, but Carnegie Mellon will be investing $17 million over the next two years to experimentally quantify the actions of hundreds of women.


“We’re even hoping to look further into Guy’s Girls,” adds Dr. Montgomery. “Are they also Decent Women? We could be dealing with a whole new category here.”


Despite the support, there are some skeptics of the findings.


“If they’re the same, then what do I call them? What CAN I say these days?” says Andrew Davis, a random man unrelated to this study.



The new study will expand in 2020 with a new group of scientists.


“We all have a common goal and see no problems bringing the two teams together. The more we lift the work of the team, the better it is for all of us,” says Dr. Pritchard.“I just hope no one is catty, or like, spending half the day talking about how much they like their salad.”