A grueling excavation of Dru Goldman’s ‘Notes’ application showed that the iPhone mainstay had become a graveyard haunted by serious texts and emails that Goldman drafted there before sending them off into the world.
“It’s a frightening and upsetting place,” said Goldman, who also led the expedition. “Over here we have an email draft from when I called in sick to work.”
“I really did have the flu,” Goldman added. “But there’s just no way to say that that doesn’t sound fake. ‘I have the flu’? Give me a break.”
If memories alone were not enough to plague Goldman for a lifetime, these physical relics, battling for space in her mind and on her iCloud, are guaranteed to bring back waves of dread to their creator whenever she clicks those lined pages.
Even with the most innocent intentions such as a grocery list or a stoned thought, Goldman has left swaths of shudder-inducing specters for her future self to revisit.
“Oh God, this is a draft from when I came out to my dad,” said Goldman. “I almost threw up during the 30 minutes I waited for him to answer. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that over text.”
“Dru considers her Notes app a graveyard,” said roommate Clarice Wright. “But I think it’s more of a shrine to her anxiety. She should probably delete those, or just stop drafting stressful texts there in the first place.”
But for Goldman, ceasing the dispiriting practice is out of the question.
“Am I supposed to draft a text in the actual conversation?” asks Goldman. “And risk accidentally sending before I’m ready? Or risk closing out of the message and losing my progress? Risk everything?! No, no. I cannot.”
Goldman took a few minutes to gather herself after contemplating this inconceivable reality, but before long was back to scrolling through unfortunate moments from her past.
“Here’s a huge fight I got into with my best friend,” Goldman said. “Wow, this is, like, actual pages of text.”
“Oh, my God,” Goldman added. “Oh, my fucking God. Uuugh! Glaring typo.”