Tinder Plus To Charge Extra For Losers, Uggos

The most talked-about dating app’s paid service, Tinder Plus, is rolling out even more features and better optimization, such as an “undo” button, an income filter, and a controversial tiered payment system that charges a higher monthly fee for what Tinder’s co-founder Justin Mateen calls “the losers and the uggos.”


“We want Tinder to be a safe and tolerant place,” says Tinder founder, Justin Mateen. “We just don’t want a bunch of dorks, hogs, mutants, and butterfaces flooding our more normal-looking users’ feeds.” In other words, the fewer lame-ass weirdos diluting the punch, the better.


Tinder’s algorithm finds the freaks through a combination of facial scanning, “About Me” analysis, and a dedicated team of interns plowing through our user base to sift out the most-hurt-of-the-bunch. If labeled a “Loser” and/or “Uggo” and try to upgrade to Tinder Plus, you’ll see an additional monthly charge that will vary from $10-$25 depending on your degree of bustedness. Uggos can appeal the fee if they take noticeable steps to improve their appearance, and losers just need some other type of proof that they’re cool – such as their band, successful tech startup, or extensive record collection.


Activist groups have protested these moves by Tinder, which, they say, further victimize those with unfortunate looks and mannerisms. But Tinder isn’t budging. “We’re not saying that everyone doesn’t deserve love,” insists Mateen, who was accused of sexual harassment last year. “We’re just rewarding those for whom love is a legitimate possibility.”



Investors think it’s a smart move. “We have found that Uggos and losers in particular have more spending power,” says Tinder CEO Sean Rad. “They tend to stay in school longer and get higher paying jobs to compensate for their dusty faces and dorky personalities.”


Grossos and weirdos, beware.


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