Teresa Brings Another Fucking One-Liter Bottle Of Coke Zero To The Christmas Party

Friends are once again disappointed after Teresa Graziano arrived to yet another party with nothing but a one-liter bottle of fucking Coke Zero.

 

Upon her late arrival to the Rachel Melson’s opulent holiday dinner party, Graziano pulled a personal-sized bottle of Coke Zero out of a CVS bag and slammed it on the table next to an exquisite bottle of raspberry Finlandia.

 

“I thought you might need mixers,” said Graziano, as though she were sharing something that the party would actually use. “This stuff is so great because it tastes like Coke but has zero calories.”.

 

 

“I think she’s on some kind of weird diet,” said one guest, who brought an $88 gift basket and a bottle of wine for the host. “At Hanna’s baby shower, she just wrapped up a liter of Coke Zero and some plastic cups and called it a gift. It’s like, is she mentally ill, or poor, or something?”

 

“How does she live with herself?” wondered Rachel, who spent over $125 per plate for the intimate gathering of friends. “I mean, at the very least, we could have used some actual Coca-Cola.”

 

And as expected, on her long list of social stumbles, the Coke Zero incident is likely to go forgotten and unpunished. But regardless, everyone was like, “Seriously? Fuck you, Teresa.”

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