Fall is cozy, colorful, and rife with delicious desserts that are no trick for everyone except you to make. Take a look at these tasty treats that will forever be out of your culinary reach, but not anyone else’s. What the hell is wrong with you?
Apple Strudel
Remember, it’s called Apple Strudel, not Burnt Asphalt on a Mush Pillow. Try not to fuck this one up, even though we’re pretty sure you will.
Bespoke Fall Chocolates
What cute and fun fall-inspired chocolates! If you were to make them, the shapes would be Blob, Bubbly Blob, and Accidental Swastika. Why do you even try?
Pumpkin Muffins
If you failed at making something so simple as a cake, you can’t expect to succeed at making a bunch of smaller cakes. That’s just common sense.
Salty Caramel Desert Latte
Now that you’ve completely ruined fall food for everyone, why not grace us with your ineptitude in fall drinks? What is that, a ghost turd?
Cider Donut Holes
Your coworkers refer to these bad-tasting yet unhealthy dust balls as “dry-abetes.” Look, can’t you just sit this season out? Please? It’s hard to watch.
