Nobody wants to be the only person starting the party before noon on a Sunday! Just because the summer sun has set doesn’t mean your mild to severe day drinking has to stop! Here are some choice fall sports to let you start the party early, and keep it going until Happy Hour!
It’s like baseball for your feet! With team names like “Whiskey Sweats” and “The Colt 45s,” this is the sport for you. Throw on the Adidas tear-away pants—you knew you were keeping them for a special reason! Prepare to play twenty minutes of a children’s recess game by light stretching, a short jog, and – holy shit, did Kelli make Jell-O shots?! Celebrate your loss by invading whatever bar “sponsors” your team. You’ll all sit together in your matching muddy t-shirts as you down enough wings to more than quadruple the amount of calories you burned kicking a deflating rubber ball around for an hour. Go Colts!
It’s like kickball for your hands! Flag football has all the excitement of the NFL, but none of the concussions or tolerance for heinous bullshit! Nothing says autumn like chasing your pals around a field trying to “accidentally” pants them while enjoying a pumpkin ale between downs. And after downs. And instead of downs. No rules!
While this sport bears no resemblance to kickball I think we can all agree there’s no season like beer pong season—and it’s always beer pong season! The classic American game has long been valued for its focus on camaraderie and flexible attitude toward persnickety things like “skill” and “rules.” Beer pong’s seasonal versatility means you can play outside on crisp, bright autumn days, or in your basement on shitty, awful, soul-crushing autumn days. Whatever the weather, GO TEAM!
Because fuck Denise and her yuppie club rules! If she wants to be a “cool” step-mom so badly, she’ll let you bring a racquet and a box of wine to the court AND she won’t get mad when you spill on the Lululemon hoodie she let you borrow. Buy her a Skinnygirl margarita and unleash your inner, drunken Venus and Serena!
Just because the trees are turning over a new leaf doesn’t mean you have to. Enjoy these wino-approved sports until your seasonal depression takes the joy from your cold dead hands. Cheers!