5 Feminist Aunts Who Keep Asking Why You’re Not Married

You love your totally badass aunts, who are as loud about their feminism as they are in their pointed questions about whether you’re dating anyone special. While these sassy ladies are theoretically down with the idea that women can find fulfillment without a man, these five aunts sure seem concerned that you have rounded out your 20s without so much as a glimpse of an engagement ring.

 

Aunt Linda

Aunt Linda is 100% #WithHer, but she isn’t fully with you when you mention that you’re not even looking to date anyone right now. Nothing could stop her marching in support of the Equal Rights Amendment back then, and nothing can prevent her from mentioning her friends’ handsome sons now. So much for solidarity!

 

Aunt Jane

Jane is always talking about how difficult it was to be the one female engineer in her office. Never giving up in the face of so much patronizing misogyny must have given her the tenacity to mention that your baby-making window is closing every time she sees you, despite the fact that you date women and don’t want children. Thanks, Auntie!

 

Aunt Ella

Your dear Aunt Ella will buy you every book of essays by a female comedian that hits the presses, but she is only so interested in hearing about your own adventures in standup comedy. She remains as in awe of Gloria Steinem as she is of any male friend you mention in her presence. She just wants you, and all women, to be happy (and normal!).

 

 

Aunt Matilda

Matilda tells awesome stories about her bra-burning days at Mount Holyoke, which somehow always end with “and then I met Bill at a Dartmouth mixer, and I finally calmed down.” She’s still got a Simone De Beauvoir quote tattooed on her hip, but has apparently forgotten that the second sex is allowed to graduate college without a husband. Well, there’s always grad school.

 

Aunt Sue

Sue is not only a self-described radical feminist, but she’s always supported LGBTQ rights, even overlaying her Facebook picture with a rainbow! In some ways, this excuses the offensive questions about your clothing and music choices she keeps asking, trying to determine whether your continued lack of husband is because you’re a lesbian. Which she’s “totally chill” with, by the way!

 

These aunties are as fun as they are feminist, and their concern comes from a sincere, hypocritical place. You love them, so it’s time to accept that the questions about why you’re unmarried will come about as frequently as their issues of Bust Magazine.

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