Depressed Woman Makes Delicious Spread Made From Crumbs Found on Her Chest

woman eating

In an exciting story out of Houston, TX, depressed woman Kelina Martin has developed a hack for a delicious spread, and it’s entirely made from crumbs found on her chest.


“Cooking isn’t really first or second nature for me,” says Kelina. “But when I compiled ingredients into little morsels on my chest left over from several other meals, my inspiration just started to flow.”


Kelina, who has clinical major depression, now makes the bold choice to throw down while lying down for every single meal, which gives her a smorgasbord of crumbs to choose from.


“The assortment of food found on my chest is then turned into patties,” Kelina told us. “Craving breakfast? Try out a quiche made from pizza crust crumbs, bacon bit crumbles, Ritz crackers bits and a blueberry you found in your clavicle!”


If you’d like mouth-watering Hot Cheeto sprinkles, tortilla skin shavings, and  glaze shards from a donut for lunch, then Kelina’s also got you covered!


But how does a person who can’t bring themselves to sit at a table, or at least prop themself up on one or two pillows, find the inspiration to make these meals? We asked Kelina how she got to this very sad yet innovative place.


“I don’t know. I guess it saves me money on food,” she says. “I get up, dust my chest off into a napkin, and boom, lunch is ready. It’s also more effort to look presentable when I get food delivered, so if I can get away with making my own food, it’s better for me overall.”


To our surprise, Kelina has no interest in making a business out of this genius idea.



“I’m doing my best with what I have right now,” Kelina said. “I actually can’t wait for you guys to leave.”


Fair enough!