In a heartwarming story out of Manhattan, NY, entry-level advertising creative and generally anxious person Sarah Lopez has finally reached her happy place: the moment of peace between sending an email and receiving a reply.
At 11:30 am this morning, Sarah sent an email to her supervisor that she’d been putting off for approximately three weeks. “The drafting process really put me through the wringer,” Sarah told reporters. “But wow, what a rush! Now it’s up to him to reply to me? Unreal!”
Every time she’s stressed or overwhelmed, Sarah says she mentally comes back to this place. “Where the sky is blue, waves lap against the shore, and I don’t even have to think about the phrase ‘apologies for the delay.’”
Sarah’s coworkers report a noticeable change in her mood during this brief interlude.
“At 10 am, before she sent the email, she called me ‘a waste of taxpayer dollars,’“ Sarah’s coworker Josh Jackson notes. “We don’t even work for the government.”
By 11:35 — after she’d sent the note but hadn’t yet received a reply — Sarah reportedly called Josh “beautiful.”
“She’s started giving hugs again,” her mom told reporters. “She hasn’t done that since the incident.” When pressed on what ‘incident’ she is referring to, Ms. Lopez said, “Oh, when she decided she should probably send an email.”
“I’ve had more energy, clearer skin, I’ve even started working out,” Sarah reports. “But in a mentally healthy way, like for all the right reasons!”
Even clients have noticed a dramatic increase in her productivity.
“In the past ten minutes alone, she’s gotten us to rethink our entire brand direction,” said one. “Also, she Queer Eye’d me! I have a new house!”
There was a brief dark cloud in Sarah’s idyllic morning when she realized she would, at some point, receive an email back from her boss.
“Then I remembered a reply could take months, even years,” she says. “Hell, I’ll probably be dead by then!”
In a devastating turn, Sarah’s moment of bliss lasted only 14 minutes, when her boss replied “k” and asked a quick follow-up question.
“Wait, I’ve got to respond to this one, too?” Sarah asked through tears, “What part of ‘let me know if you have any further questions’ did he not understand? That’s a clear signal to keep it to yourself!”
At press time Sarah could be seen heaving into a trashcan and typing, “Thanks for your prompt response.”