Avoid Drunk Texting Your Ex By Drunk Emailing Him Instead

Breakups are hard, so it’s only natural and important that you go out and get wasted to cope. But uh-oh! When you’re drunk, it can be really tempting to text your ex, which is embarrassing and bad! Here are some tips to avoid drunk texting your old boyf by drunk-emailing him instead! Better!


Think It Through

You’ve just had your tenth tequila shot in an hour. All you want to do is text that fine boy who got really distant near the end with something like “You’re an asshole and treated me like bad k and by the way I miss u /:.” But think about waking up the next morning: Do you really want to, when sober, deal with the consequences of sending sloppy iMessages to your ex? No! So take a deep breath, close out of that text thread, open up gmail, and write the exact same thing there! And now you can add a subject line, “FURRCK”, for example. Wow! You’re definitely getting your point across now!


Be Better

Imagine what it will feel like the next morning and feel a wave of relief realizing you did not text your ex! Sure, this will quickly be replaced by a wave of embarrassment when you spot that email sitting in your sent folder from 1:42am. Even though this is only marginally better than drunk text your ex, you can still be proud of yourself, maybe? Baby steps! Maybe next year you’ll send him a handwritten letter that will get to him in 2-3 business days!



Look on the Bright Side

Although emailing your ex is arguably just as bad as texting him, at least tomorrow you can tell your friends that you didn’t drunk text! Aw! They’re going to be so proud, until they realized that he did receive an email from your work account that you signed “all best”. Hmm, now he can forward that email to whoever he wants! You go, dateless diva!


Even though you’re hurting, it’s so important to break the habit of sad drunk texting your ex by replacing that desperate habit with an equally sad one! The next time you feel the urge to open your iMessage, don’t! Instead, open up your gmail and get to typing out an identical message there. Yes, bitch, this will literally change nothing!