Sexting is fun – especially when you can do it from the comfort of your own home. So if you’re ready to connect with your lover without all the effort of leaving home, get in bed, grab that a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and get to work with those cheesy little hands of yours! Here are three hot little sexts to fire off while you’re elbow deep into a gorgeous bag of cheetos.
“Just took off my bra.”
Texting something as simple as “an item of my clothing is off” will get thier gears grinding. Seriously, there’s nothing hotter than imagining you getting naked! So settle in, pop open a fresh bag of cheetos puffs, and fire off this bad boy as you lick the cheese flavoring off your fingers and continue typing. Little will they know that you actually took your bra off 20 minutes ago for totally different reasons. You can’t take off a bra with hands like that – but you can sext! You’ve always been so smart!
“I want your body.”
Let your lover know you’re dimming the lights and getting some candles going despite the fact that this is a complete and boldfaced lie. In reality, you are drowning in a huge dirty sweatshirt stuffing cheetos into your face hole like there’s no tomorrow. But you’re not a liar, you’re just bending the truth: Though he may think “I want your body” is referring to him, you’re actually just talking to the next Cheeto you’re about to devour. Shhh, that’s your sexy little secret, you hot slob!
“I’m touching myself right now.”
This will absolutely drive anyone wild. Nothing is hotter than someone feeling all sexed up at the thought of you! They’ll imagine you moaning from pleasure, which is happening, but only because you just tried the jalapeño Cheeto and it is fucking rocking your world. Did your mouth just come? Sounded like it!
Try sending one of these sexy lil texts to throw people off your scent, which is simply the stench of cheeto dust underneath your fingernails. You are gross, but also a hero! Dangerously sexy? Nah, you’re freaking dangerously cheesy!