Why I Get Sick on Purpose So Osmosis Jones Can Have Job Security

Most people don’t want to get sick, especially now due to the global health crisis that we’re all currently living in, but I’m the exception to this norm, because I’ve vowed to get sick on purpose as frequently as possible so that Osmosis Jones can have some job security.


After all, white blood cells gotta eat, too!


Many people have told me that I should stop deliberately getting sick because “Osmosis Jones isn’t real,” or that “He’s a cartoon from an animated Disney movie,” but what they obviously don’t realize is that white blood cells are just like us, and they have an entire society modeled after ours too, which obviously includes capitalism.


I guess people just don’t care about science anymore!


I eat food off of the ground every single day because I care about the wellbeing of Osmosis Jones and all the other white blood cells who might be struggling to pay their bills.


While I refuse to support the police in our normal human world, I do support the white blood cell police that’s working to fight virus crimes in my body, especially Osmosis Jones, because he’s the coolest one and he definitely needs work right now.


I’ve been sick 57 times this year, which has been pretty awful for me physically, mentally, and emotionally, but when I think about how my many sicknesses have helped Osmosis Jones prove himself to the rest of the world inside me, all of those painful memories of being deathly ill simply fade away! I really hope he is being responsible and saving for retirement.


While I’ve never met Osmosis Jones personally, I’m proud of all the work he’s done to keep my body healthy. Hey, I’m still alive after all! Just barely – but still.



I believe that everyone should get sick more often so that Osmosis Jones can keep up the good work. It’s our responsibility to ensure that our funniest and most lovable white blood cells are keeping their jobs and supporting themselves. It’s really the least we can do!


However, it must be said that while I’ve made the commitment to getting constantly sick in order to help Osmosis Jones’ career, I do believe in getting vaccinated against all harmful diseases, especially Covid-19, because Osmosis Jones would actually help fight those, too!