How to Be So Positive That You’re Exhausting to Everyone Around You

News

‘Women’s Studies Isn’t a Real Thing,’ Argues Man With Encyclopedic Knowledge of Star Wars Universe

“You spend hours learning a topic no one cares about.”

News

28-Year-Old Woman In That Sweet Spot Where She Can Have Sex With Consenting Adults of Any Age

“It’s that sweet age, one glorious year of fuck, one golden era of unchecked bone-o-rama where anything’s possible.”

Style

3 Cozy-Looking Sweaters That Say, ‘HAHA, I’m Actually Itchy AF’

“Hee hee hee, you’re so dumb, I’m an itchy fucker!”

Style

How to Wear Gingham Without Being Mistaken For a Picnic Table

If you’re in a gingham blouse holding a wicker basket, you can’t blame people for believing you’re a picnic table.

Living

5 Facebook Photos of Your Dog That Will Make You Look Like an Ignorant Hick for Not Posting About Politics

Don’t want to get into politics on your Facebook page? Oh, okay. Guess you just want to look like an idiot then.

Thoughts

I Want My Boyfriend to Murder My Vagina Because It Won’t Stop Singing ‘Tomorrow Belongs to Me’ from ‘Cabaret’

“There is no time to waste because my vagina might be a literal Nazi.”

News

Friend Invites Whole Squad To Your ‘Much-Needed Catch-Up Time’

“I just love bringing people together,” your friend explained. “The more the merrier!”

News

Rachel Has Sex Three to Five Times a Week, Like She’s Just Made of Free Time

“I just don’t get it!” says Nadley’s sister. “Three to five times a week is a million times a week!”

Thoughts

Here’s What Happened When I Stopped Drinking Coffee in the Morning and Replaced it with Just Different Coffee

“If I gave up coffee but drank other coffee long-term, I’m sure I’d continue to see no actual changes.”

Thoughts

You’re My Type, So Congratulations, You’ve Passed The First Test Out of Five Thousand

“If you fail one, I won’t be able to assume the risk of dating you.”

Love and Sex

Are You Living Authentically, Or Are You A Female Lead Sprung From The Imagination Of A Young Male Auteur?

“I don’t think I had a life at all before this guy Jake waltzed into mine.”

Living

How To Install New Windows After His Leviathan Boner Shatters Yours

You know what they say: Every dick disaster happens for a reason!

Living

The Best Spas for Relaxing If You Can Get Over the Whole ‘Being Naked’ Thing

Check out these amazing spas when you want to indulge in all of your worst insecurities!

News

Woman Reaches 10,000th Hour Of Complaining To Friends Via Text Message

“I’ve never seen someone complain, then apologize for complaining, via text more than Sarah.”

News

Woman Wonders If Milo Ventimiglia Also Had Sex Dream About Her

“How can I be sure he didn’t actually fuck me and put his sperm in me that night? “

Style

5 Hairstyles That Will Have People Saying, ‘That Must Have Taken Hours’

“So you must’ve had to sit still for a really long time, huh?”

Thoughts

I Gave Up Eating Sugar So I Could Focus Solely On Eating Ass

Now, whenever I want to reach for a Twix, I nosh on an ass instead.

Thoughts

I Did 23andMe and Traced My Ancestors Back to the Raccoon Nest Under My Deck

All this time my ancestors have been living under my house and gnawing through the foundation!

Living

4 Tips for Better Sleep That Will Make You Still Just Take an Ambien and Call it a Day

Honestly, just do your thing and then take an Ambi when you’re ready.

Thoughts

Whatever Your Opinion on Taylor Swift Is, I Have the Only Correct One

To any other praise or criticism of Taylor Swift I say, “Nope!” Taylor is exactly how I envision her, and that’s it.

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RECENT POSTS

How to Be So Positive That You’re Exhausting to Everyone Around You

‘Women’s Studies Isn’t a Real Thing,’ Argues Man With Encyclopedic Knowledge of Star Wars Universe

28-Year-Old Woman In That Sweet Spot Where She Can Have Sex With Consenting Adults of Any Age

3 Cozy-Looking Sweaters That Say, ‘HAHA, I’m Actually Itchy AF’

How to Wear Gingham Without Being Mistaken For a Picnic Table

5 Facebook Photos of Your Dog That Will Make You Look Like an Ignorant Hick for Not Posting About Politics

I Want My Boyfriend to Murder My Vagina Because It Won’t Stop Singing ‘Tomorrow Belongs to Me’ from ‘Cabaret’

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Here’s What Happened When I Stopped Drinking Coffee in the Morning and Replaced it with Just Different Coffee

You’re My Type, So Congratulations, You’ve Passed The First Test Out of Five Thousand

Are You Living Authentically, Or Are You A Female Lead Sprung From The Imagination Of A Young Male Auteur?

How To Install New Windows After His Leviathan Boner Shatters Yours

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Woman Reaches 10,000th Hour Of Complaining To Friends Via Text Message

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Whatever Your Opinion on Taylor Swift Is, I Have the Only Correct One