Whatever Your Opinion on Taylor Swift Is, I Have the Only Correct One

When pop superstar Taylor Swift released her lead single and accompanying music video, “Look What You Made Me Do”, the internet collectively lost its mind. What was Taylor trying to say? Was this “edgier” version of TS the real one, or just another marketing gimmick? The answers remain unclear to everyone except me. You see, whatever your opinion on Taylor Swift is, I have the only correct one.


Not to be a know-it-all, but my interpretation is just the facts. Or whatever you call a fact when it’s based on your beliefs alone.


Some people have been speculating that Taylor Swift’s second single, “ … Ready For It?” is either about Harry Styles or British actor Joe Alwyn, and I think that’s cute. Really, it’s adorable watching others try to have an opinion. I think the song is about somebody else, and my take is based solely on the fact that I know Taylor Swift the best.


I mean, do I personally know Taylor Swift? No. I know she enjoys Diet Coke, Drake and collecting beautiful women. But I don’t need to know anything more about her to make vague yet vicious and damning value judgments on her life choices.


Taylor Swift haters say that her new singles sound overproduced and unoriginal. On a more general level, they’re critical of her persona. They claim Taylor only espouses liberal and feminist causes when they enrich her personally, then casts them aside as soon as they become inconvenient. But the haters are wrong. Why?


Well, let’s use logic. If a) I have the only correct opinion about Taylor Swift and b) this is someone else’s opinion then c) their opinion is wrong!


Many fans of Taylor are excited for this new “Reputation” era though. They see Taylor as a shining beacon of hope and female empowerment. In their view, Taylor Swift is whoever she wants to be. To those fans I say, “Nope!” Taylor is exactly how I envision her, and that’s it.


People have a lot of things to say about Taylor Swift. She’s become representative of larger debates we’re having in this country about identity, gender roles, the music industry, corporate feminism, and so much more. I’m so glad that I have the right opinion on all those things too, because my Taylor Swift opinion is the sole legitimate one, and now I’m five for five.


The funny thing is, I don’t actually care very much about Ms. Swift herself – which is why I’ve written a lengthy think piece about her. Of course, I realize that all of these discussions just contribute to Taylor Swift’s notoriety, fame and wealth. The best way to kill the beast is probably to ignore it. But as long as we’re clear that only I have the definitive understanding of Taylor Swift, I’m more than happy to keep throwing it scraps, because this isn’t just about me, it’s also about me being right.