4 Tips for Better Sleep That Will Make You Still Just Take an Ambien and Call it a Day

Getting good sleep is important, but also so hard! Luckily there are many little life tweaks you can make to achieve better sleep that will still cause you to take an Ambien and call it day. After all, that’s just your style! Here are four great tips for better sleep that won’t measure up to that sweet, sweet Ambien in the drawer of your nightstand.



The light from your device can keep your brain from releasing melatonin. So for a good night’s sleep, try putting away your iPhones and iPads at least thirty minutes before your bedtime. Alternatively, you can also just pop an Ambien and fall asleep with your iPhone in hand as you scroll through Brian’s Instagram posts all the way back to 2014. Yeah, let’s be honest, that’s almost certainly what you’re gonna do.


Stick to a Schedule

When you stick to a consistent schedule of going to sleep and waking up, your body’s internal clock adjusts and allows for more restful sleep and easier waking. It’s that easy! But you know what’s easier? Just sort of slurping down an Ambien and going to sleep whenever you damn well please, i.e. whenever the drugs hit. Plus, this option makes you more available when Brian texts you to hang out late at night. Bingo!



Cut Down on the Caffeine

This one probably doesn’t come as a surprise: drinking caffeine too late in the day can make it harder for you to fall asleep. Just stopping your caffeine intake by early afternoon can drastically improve your quality of sleep. But sometimes it’s the evening and Brian asked to grab coffee and you’re not going to not go. So honestly, just do your thing and then take an Ambi when you’re ready. Why do the hard work of putting yourself to sleep when a little pill could do it for you? Exactly!


Take a Hot Bath

Ugh fuck it. Baths take forever to fill up. Just take an Ambien. It’s basically the same.


Making slight changes to your life habits can give you the best sleep you’ve ever had. But making no changes to your life and still just taking an Ambien whenever you want also works, like, totally fine. So maybe do that, and call it a day. Sleep tight, pumpkin!