5 Tips for Living With Yourself

Living with stress, depression, or anxiety can really put a strain on your everyday life. But some days, just living with yourself can be impossible, especially if you’re a worthless ogre with no skills or lovable qualities! Check out these tips for those days when you’re a totally insufferable pain in the ass—AKA, every day.


Focus on the Little Things

It’s important to appreciate life’s little joys. But sometimes the constant struggle of living with yourself can take such a toll that that becomes impossible. When you’re focused on the fact that you haven’t apologized to that friend you bailed on three hours ago, it can be hard to live in the moment. What the hell is wrong with you? Take a break from this line of abusive self-questioning to look at the stuff on your coffee table, or maybe read the labels inside your shoes. It will take literally five minutes and you’re just sitting there watching TV like a lump.



Try Meditation

Meditation has proven effective in treating everything from chronic pain to ADHD and is a great resource for those times when you no longer have a good explanation for your shitty behavior. Who knows? It might even help you get your ass out of bed and stop calling in sick to work. Even if it’s just five minutes a day, carve out some time to just sit and breathe. Shouldn’t be a problem, since you never do anything.


Block Negative Thoughts

When you’re in a downward spiral, it’s important to keep a positive filter on your thoughts. Especially when your boyfriend Darren is trying to tell you that you hurt his feelings. Can you really not be supportive for one freaking second? Stop thinking about how stupid his face is and how he’ll probably never get that job he wants. Instead, replace those negative thoughts with positive ones, like about how in 80 years both you and Darren will definitely be dead so nothing matters and what’s the point of even discussing it?


Get Support

Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If living with yourself is too much to handle on your own, call someone you trust, like your Aunt Linda. You know she had hip surgery last year and you never checked up on her, right? She practically raised you. Or maybe call your parents? It’s been over three months. They probably think you hate them. Reach out to whomever is most likely to pick up your calls, despite how self-centered you are. You can only hope they have even less self-respect than you.



Schedule Time To Relax

Deadlines are looming, dishes are piling up, and you haven’t showered in days! Sometimes the best solution when you’re just not feeling it is to take a few hours of downtime. Wait, isn’t that self-indulgent attitude what got you here in the first place? Forget what we said: Put the bong down and go for a run. Any more relaxing and you’ll have bedsores. Seriously, what is your damage?


So remember, when you’ve alienated pretty much everyone around, you including yourself, use these tips to make your day a little easier. Better get on it soon though, before you wise up and realize you’re actually just a monster. Good luck!