Woman Reaches 10,000th Hour Of Complaining To Friends Via Text Message

After missing casual drinks with college friends, 22-year-old Sarah Fisher finally became a master of complaining to her friends via text message. She reached her 10,000th hour, achieving expert-level, after sending a paragraph of apologies to all six friends she flaked on.


“I remember reading what Malcolm Gladwell said about mastering something after doing it for 10,000 hours, and I’m so happy I’ve crossed that threshold. I’ve been complaining via text message for what feels like forever,” says Fisher. “I literally do it every single day of my life.”


Fisher’s friends, who regularly receive texts complaining about innocuous events, as well as texts apologizing for complaining so frequently, usually give their support and suggest that such an extreme volume of complaints plus apologies aren’t necessary. They do, however, admit that Fisher has attained incredible acumen in her habit.


“If you had told me five years ago that Sarah would become a master of complaining to her friends via text message, I would have said, ‘That is a ridiculous achievement bordering on satire,’” says Fisher’s college roommate and friend, Katie Lin. “But I’ve seen her grow over the years, and the time she’s put in, and boy…I’ve never seen someone complain, then apologize for complaining, via text more than Sarah.”


Fisher, who usually complains about things such as “her outfit not being right for the weather”, “having to do her job”, or “not getting a full day for a lunch break,” has decided to complain about grander, more robust things given her new mastery of the form.



“Right now I’m simply complaining because it feels like an intuitive, natural response to being exposed to any semblance of the world,” says Fisher. “However, I’ve matured into someone who can now complain about bigger things, like our entire government, global warming and the general decay of Western society.”


Fisher added her “10,000 hours” achievement to her LinkedIn profile and several social media bios, hoping to connect with other masters of the craft in order to further refine her skills and complain to friends via text with more nuance and artistic verve.


“I hope the success and greatness doesn’t get to my head too much,” says Fisher. “Because at the end of the day, I’m still going to be complaining anyway, and I’ll need my friends to listen.”