‘Women’s Studies Isn’t a Real Thing,’ Argues Man With Encyclopedic Knowledge of Star Wars Universe

Earlier this evening, college sophomore Ben Lawson declared that, “Women’s studies isn’t a real thing” despite having an encyclopedic knowledge of the Star Wars universe.


“How can Women’s Studies be considered a real major when it has no real world applications? It offers no job security and has no value in the workplace,” says Lawson, who can name every battle that takes place in the Star Wars universe in order from memory.


“You spend hours upon hours learning about the minutiae of a topic that no one cares about,” Lawson continues, before launching into a long-winded theory about how Jar Jar Binks is actually a Sith Master.


Lawson’s friend and Women’s Studies major, Adelai Ortega, has tried introducing him to some preeminent feminist texts, in hopes that Lawson would at least understand her interest in the field. But all attempts have been futile.


“Ben thought The Feminine Mystique was ‘too dense and archaic,’” says Ortega. “However, he can recite the Jedi Code from memory. I wonder how many hours that took.”


As Lawson watched The Empire Strikes Back for the second time that day, Ortega tried once more to justify her interest in Women’s Studies.


“Historically, women have been marginalized and objectified by the male gaze –” she began explaining to Lawson, who wasn’t paying attention because he was too busy looking at Carrie Fisher’s tits.



“You don’t have to get so defensive,” Lawson eventually responded, as though he hadn’t nearly burst a blood vessel in his eye five minutes earlier, when Ortega jokingly said, “Live Long and Prosper!” to him as she walked into the room.


Ortega then realized she might be able to get through to her friend by connecting her passion to his.


“Did you know that there’s actually an interesting debate about how Rogue One is the first truly feminist Star Wars film, since it features a sole woman lead instead of a man or romantic duo?”


Lawson shrugged, offhandedly remarking, “Maybe that’s why I couldn’t get into it.”


At the conclusion of their conversation, Ortega finally just shrugged and left, still unworried about her course of study. After all, Ortega’s degree will prepare her for a future career in public policy, social work or psychology. On the other hand, Lawson’s own concentration in obscure Star Wars trivia might land him a job at the video game store. Or, since he’s a man, as the highly-paid director of the next Star Wars movie.