RECENT POSTS

Living

4 Loofahs That Will Trap Your Pubes Like Shrimp In A Net

Living

How to Be Encouraging When Your Friend Just Discovered Doges

Here’s what to do when your friend keeps tagging you in the most ancient of memes.

Style

4 Dry Clean Only Shirts That Say, ‘I Got Money to Burn, Bitch’

These four shirts all perfectly convey that you have money and you’re willing to burn it.

Love and Sex

Scientists Discover Flavored Condoms Won’t Mask Overwhelming Stench of Dick

“It will still smell nasty and no woman should ever have to be near it.”

News

Wow! This Woman Hasn’t Listened to Any New Music Since 2008

“Then ‘The Carter III’ came out in 2008”, she said. “It was all over for me then.”

News

Woman Apologizes To Booty Call With ‘I’m So Sorry, I’m Dating Someone and I’m Happy’

“She was so apologetic, which makes absolutely no sense.”

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Paint-and-Sip Class Finally Gets Rid of All That Tedious Painting

“Everyone was getting really bored by the second glass and just wanted to drink.”

News

This Woman Is Protesting The Wage Gap By Spending 23% Of Her Workday Writing Erotic Fan Fiction

Stein’s just happy to have found a meaningful way to protest a gross injustice in the world.

News

Clingy Girlfriend Wants to Confirm Saturday Plans

This request proves that Maria Vasquez is both clingy and asking for way too much.

Living

How to Fight Stubborn Belly Fat by Being Like, ‘Ugh, Belly Fat, You’re Being Such a Bitch Right Now’

BYE BITCH.

Living

3 Simple Cocktails to Enjoy Before Drunkenly Discussing Your Childhood Traumas With a Stranger

You’ll be fostering an uncomfortable camaraderie with a stranger in no time!

Love and Sex

4 Expensive Lingerie Looks That Will Have Him Saying, ‘Take That Off’

“This fabric is in the way.”

Thoughts

My New Year’s Resolution Is So Many Butts Please

Please please, just tons of butts, please!

Living

How to Sit On The Couch and Demand He Bring You Tea Like The Mariah Carey You Are

Every woman has a little Mariah Carey inside of her.

Thoughts

I Can’t Cum Unless Someone Calls Me a ‘Voracious Reader’

Nothing gets me like being told I am a good and avid reader.

Love and Sex

4 Men You Won’t Date in Your Twenties Because You Date Women

Wow, your twenties are full of so many adventures!

Thoughts

I Believe Women, Unless They’re Talking About Me

You can respect them but definitely don’t believe what they say about me because it’s wrong.

News

31-Year-Old Woman Finally Gives Up on The Idea of Being Friends with Her Cousins

Capitani has placed 40 unreturned phone calls in the past five years.

Style

5 Matte Foundations That Will Turn Your Skin Into An Eternal Void Bereft of Meaning

Don’t worry! There’s no pain here, because your face is Nothingness now.

Living

Hangover Cures You’ll Be Too Hung Over To Try

Nice try but you’re going to continue on with your massive hangover without any aid.

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