Clingy Girlfriend Wants to Confirm Saturday Plans

Reports are surfacing that clingy-as-hell, 33-year-old Maria Vasquez has the gall to confirm Saturday night plans with her boyfriend. This request proves that Vasquez is both clingy and asking for way too much.


Eric Martin, Vasquez’s boyfriend, reportedly asked to hang out “whenever I dunno” at “my place or yours or somewhere else I dunno” for “I dunno…awhile?” Vasquez then asked for confirmation, because she needs to plan ahead but also because she’s super clingy and demanding and needs to chill out, god.


“I work a 50-hour week, so the weekend is my only time to play catch up and really get things done,” says the grade-A clinger Vasquez. “I need to know when we’re meeting up and where so I can, you know, schedule the rest of my life.”


Vasquez has asked a lot from him throughout their relationship, often demanding to know where he is when he’s 20 minutes late for a date, or if maybe he wants to plan a weekend away some time in the next year.


“Yeah I’m starting to think she’s like super clingy,” says Martin. “Sometimes she’ll be like ‘What time does the party start tonight’ and I’m just like dude chill. Last month she asked if we could have a designated date night and I had to be like ‘What the fuck I need space.’”



Vasquez’s outrageous behavior has been described by some as “smothering” and by others as “Sounds like a normal request, why?”


For her part, Vasquez seems to have embraced the whole clingy girlfriend thing and is taking it to the next level.


“If Eric can’t confirm plans, make promises or commit any of his time to me, I’m going to break up with him,” she says. “He can be alone, I don’t care. I have my own shit going on.”