Try as I might, there are some things I just don’t get about men. Certain behaviors have me scratching my head, thinking, “A woman would NEVER do that!” Here’s a list of some of the weirdest things men do that I JUST DON’T GET!
They Stand While They Pee
C’mon, toilets have seats for a reason. I just can’t see why need you wave your penis around like a magic wand every time you have to relieve yourself. Just sit like a human. This isn’t a water park!
They Grow Hair From Their Faces
Is it just me, or is this unnecessary and gross? We’re not cave people! And it’s not just their faces either – men also like to grow excessive amounts of hair on their chests, backs and butts! Why would you do that???
They LOSE Hair on their Heads
And to top it all off, they sometimes stop growing hair on their heads around the same time they start growing all this other hair. Isn’t your head the most desirable place to have hair?! Any woman would say so!
They Ejaculate During Orgasm
What’s with all the fluid! Can’t you just shudder in pleasure and move on? Do we really need the sex act to be a gross mess?! I’m supposed to want this inside me?! WHY?!!!!
They Can’t Get Pregnant
Let me get this straight – you want to take part in the creation of a human but you don’t want to do any of the work forming it’s physical body? Seems like a pretty small effort!
They Have NO Breasts
And you also don’t want to feed the child once it’s born?! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
They Have a Y Chromosome
DO YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN US?!!! WE MAKE BABIES!!!!!!!!!
If anyone has any insights into the male psyche and why they do these things, please let me know. In the meantime, I’ll be over here, not getting those darn men.