4 Nut Butters Only Virgos Understand

Is your birthday between August 23 and September 22? Congrats, you’re a Virgo! There are certain things other star signs just don’t understand about you, like your attention to detail, your practicality, and your ability to know just exactly what to do with nuts that have been pureed into butters. Earth is the element associated with Virgos, meaning that you’re grounded, salt-of-the-earth types—meaning that you have such a grasp on ground, salty nuts that no one else could ever wrap their dumb brains around! Wow!! Here are the top nut butters that only Virgos understand:


Peanut Butter

Virgos are perfectionists, which means they’re super health-conscious and are always finding fault with their bodies. So only they know exactly the right amount of natural peanut butter to spoon into their faces when they need a snack in the middle of spin class. Only Virgos truly understand that everyone should want to throw themselves down a well rather than eat anything other than natural peanut butter in spin class! It’s a Virgo thing!


Cashew Butter

Virgos are known for having poker faces since they’re cautious about expressing their emotions, leading others to misinterpret this trait as aloofness or anger. Just like famous Virgos Beyoncé, Pink, and Cameron Diaz, Virgos are tough nuts to crack, but once cracked, they can be as smooth as the cashew butter that only you understand how to spread perfectly on toast for a protein-packed breakfast. When it comes to cashew butter toast, other star signs are all like, How do you do it? Do you use a spoon? Do you use a knife? Do you use a fork? Do you use bread? What is bread? How does bread turn into toast? A Virgo would never have to ask these questions—they just know!



Walnut Butter

Virgos are very independent and judicious about who they let into their lives. They lack the ability to tolerate nonsense, like an Aquarius. Did your friend use two tablespoons of walnut butter in her smoothie instead of the recommended one tablespoon of walnut butter? A true Virgo would use two tablespoons of walnut butter in her smoothie instead of the recommended one tablespoon of walnut butter because she is a nut butter maverick and her astrological sign is proof.


Almond Butter

Virgos are more organized than everyone else, spending more time with calendars and to-do lists and alphabetized nut butters than they do with their actual friends. Virgos just totally get that almond butter is the best companion of all the nut butters—it’s so giving, with all the protein and fiber you need with the least amount of calories. You can always find a Virgo saying, “Who needs friends when low-cal almond butter is always here for me, always on time!” Virgos love when things run on time!


Ladies of other astrological signs, you’re lucky if you find a Virgo as a friend, because they’re loyal and will always be there to help you stay organized, stay healthy, and really get a grasp on the elusive world of nut butters that they alone can penetrate!