Dating is so weird sometimes – dating one guy after another, trying to find that perfect one. Then, once you do find a great dude, he goes to LA “for work” and starts a relationship with someone else while he’s there and cuts you out completely because he doesn’t want to upset his new girlfriend. Anyways, recently, I thought it would be a fun romp to explore the modern dating paradigm by going on ten Tinder dates in a week, just to see what would happen, and not at all to try to fill the gaping emotional void caused by the actions of my ex. Here’s what I found:
Romance is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the more opportunities you have to find someone who’s right for you. That’s why I filled all of the free time I had for seven straight days with meeting Tinder guys – not because I’m looking for literally any distraction from the crippling pain I’m feeling about my very recent breakup, but because you’ve got to put yourself out there if you want to be a successful dater and I might as well see what it’s like to really put that into practice.
It was fun thinking about the basics of dating again. Who pays for the date? What should I be wearing? Will any of these men be able to mend the freshly dug hole in my heart? The only way I could find out was by going on more dates in one week than there are days in the week. There really was no other option for me, personally!
The dates I chose to go on were all over the map. Some were at bars, some were at restaurants, and some deviated a bit from the norm. All were at locations that I had previously been with my ex, but I chose them because of the chance of having great experiences there and not at all because I need to reassign the emotional weight of many, many places to arbitrary third parties instead of my piece of shit ex. That’s not what this was about at all! This was about getting back out there and learning more about myself in the process, and absolutely NOTHING to do with the crippling loneliness that comes with knowing the greatest loves in your life are behind you. No, it had nothing to do with that at all.
I went to a karaoke night with one Tinder guy. I was impressed by myself for performing “Back To Black” by Amy Winehouse and only crying for seven full minutes afterward. The crying was just one of those weird fluke first date things and not because I remembered it has been almost six years since Amy tragically passed away and almost six weeks since my ex had acknowledged my existence.
I did an escape the room with another Tinder date, which was fun, even though I had to leave the room for 20 minutes to sit out a mild panic attack caused by claustrophobia and not because one of the other people in the room with us looked uncannily like my ex.
Most of the dates went very well! Although one guy was obviously still caught up on his ex, which is not going to work for me. I know how he feels, because I recently went through a very traumatic breakup. But I am handling that in a very healthy way, and not really bringing it up much on my many dates.
Though the methods and expectations may have changed, we’re all really just a bunch of people bumbling through life and looking for connection in any way we can find, sometimes more aggressively than others. So for anyone out there looking to shake things up and take a chance, give aggressive online dating and see how much you’ll grow!