Thoughts ARCHIVES

I Prefer Meeting People The Old-Fashioned Way, By Mailing Myself to Them in a Box

Why I Only Trust Men and God

I Don’t Regret Carrying My Pregnancy to Term, But I Do Wish I’d Known I Would Die

I Don’t See A Therapist, I Pay Someone To Clap For Me While I Thoughtfully Sip Tea

I’m Just An Old Soul Trapped in This Hot Body

How I Transformed My Fun Hobby Into A Lucrative, Emotionally Taxing Full-Time Gig

Why I Decided to Have a Small Wedding That Would Still Punish Those Close to Me

Why I’m Waiting for The Right Man to Tell Me I Should Read ‘Infinite Jest’

I Want a Man Who Challenges Me, Except When I’m Tired or Hungry or Sad

Can I Still Be A Feminist If I Hate Myself?

Why I Bravely Tell Stories That Aren’t Mine to Tell

I Always Get Sad During the Winter and Also All the Other Months

I Want To Go To Westworld to Tell The Horses They’re Good Boys

My Hookup Thinks I Want to Be Exclusive, But I’m Just Looking For a Human Host

I Don’t Dress For Men, I Dress For The Sea Witch That Cursed Me

I Left the Church of Scientology to Worship Leah Remini

My Lashes Are So Full, Yet I Am So Hungry

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