I Don’t Dress For Men, I Dress For The Sea Witch That Cursed Me

The male gaze is not something I am interested in pleasing, so I don’t dress for men. And I’m not in the business of dressing for other women, either. In fact, I don’t dress for anyone on this planet except the Sea Witch that rises from the seas each morning to make me dance like her little fashion puppet.


I know some women like to dress to attract men, but I don’t believe that my body is a display for potential partners. I do believe that the Sea Witch cursed me and now chooses everything I wear each and every day. There’s nothing I can do about it! So I guess I believe in abiding by the rules of the curse that was set upon me over a decade ago. If men don’t like it, they can just fuck off.


Can men enjoy my clothes? Of course they can. Anyone is welcome to see and appreciate the aesthetics of my outfits. I just don’t want men to think that I wore this in the hopes that they would talk to me, when I just wore it because I wake up every day essentially in a prison of no choices thanks to my cruel, salty mistress.


When I’m getting dressed in the morning, I think to myself three things: Firstly, what do I have to do today? Secondly, which outfit would make me feel comfortable and strong enough to get those things done? And finally I ask myself: Why does this curse make me wear kilts sometimes? Kilts are traditionally for men, right? I just don’t get what this sea witch is really going for sometimes.


When I wear red lipstick, it’s not because the patriarchy decided I should. If my boobs are popping out and I’m wearing a tight skirt, that’s because I wanted to feel sexy today and the Sea Witch actually abided by my wishes for once—or more likely she thought this was not how I wanted to look and happened to choose wrong. But accident or not, wearing what I want makes me feel confident. That’s why I wear what I wear. Water Magic.



And honestly, the fact that people assume that I dress for men is wildly offensive. Because I’m a woman, I can’t have a more nuanced logic to my wardrobe? Because I’m a woman, I can’t fall under the spell of one of the most powerful Sea Covens on this planet? Closed-minded much?


I’m just trying to make it clear that my body and the way I dress it has nothing to do with men in any way, shape or form. My Sea Witch makes me wear everything I wear and I have no control over my life. But if I did, I still wouldn’t dress for men.