Thoughts ARCHIVES

DUDE CORNER: She Asked if I Hated Her and I Answered Honestly. Now I’m the Bad Guy.

How I Keep My Skin Dewy and Moisturized by Riding a Log Flume Twice a Day

I Don’t Exercise to Be Able to Hold My Grandchildren. I Do It so I Can Dunk on Them.

I Chose a Pescatarian Diet Because I Fucking Hate Fish

Why I’m Getting a Boyfriend Just so I Have Something to Tell My Hairstylist

Why I’m Having Kids so I Have Someone to Blame if My Makeup Looks Kind of Bad

I Thought Something Was Racist, but Then I Saw a Sign Above It That Said ‘End Racism’

Why I’m Applying to Harvard After Getting ‘Genius’ in Spelling Bee

Third Place? Here’s Why I Started Exploring the Sewers

Why Feminism Is Useless Unless the Feature-Length Toy Commercial Wins Every Single Oscar

I LIVED IT: The Subject Changed Before I Found the Emoji

Why I Completely Redecorated My Apartment to Host a Single Dinner Party

I Don’t Wear All Black Because I’m Goth, I Do It to Hide the Food Stains

I LIVED IT: My Date Looked Nothing Like His AI-Generated Profile Picture

Why I Gave Up My Newborn Baby for a Stanley Cup

Why I Gave Up Dating Apps and Started Messaging CEOs on LinkedIn Instead

My Relationship With My Mom Is Great – My Mommy Issues Are From My Ballet Teacher

Why I Went Vegan Because I Can’t Afford Knives

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