Most people choose a pescatarian lifestyle because it can improve your heart health, help with skin issues, lower inflammation, and benefit the planet. While that’s all well and good, I personally chose to be a pescatarian because I fucking hate fish.
Can you really blame me?
Ever since my mom took me to a fishpond filled with koi when I was five years old and one of the fish jumped up and knocked the hot dog I was holding out of my hands, I’ve never looked at any fish the same way again. Some people have called my diet “unnecessarily hateful,” but I call it “protecting my peace.” I believe that the world is a much better place without fish in it, and I’m proud to actively work towards that reality.
In case you were wondering, I eat at least two fish filets a day, solely out of spite.
When I first found out about the benefits of cutting all meat from my diet, I became a staunch vegetarian. But after a couple weeks of eating absolutely no meat, I realized that my hatred for fish was so powerful that I simply had to keep eating it. I couldn’t let them get away with what they did to me in 2002.
While I may not have any personal beef with salmon, tuna, or cod, I still eat those species of fish because none of them can be trusted. In my mind, I am preventing hot dogs from being knocked out of children’s hands all over the globe, which is a very noble duty that I am honored to be tasked with.
If I could afford to eat sushi every day, I most certainly would!
While most of my friends and family are under the impression that I chose to be pescatarian because of health, environmental, and/or ethical reasons, let me be clear when I say that I am only doing it because I hate every single fish that’s swimming out there in the world. I’m also considering adding goat meat back into my diet because of an incident that happened at a petting zoo a couple months ago.
