Thoughts ARCHIVES

Why I Want Him to Propose at Benihana so I Can Catch the Ring in My Mouth

I LIVED IT: Autocorrect Turned My Nonchalant Smiley Face Into a Cheeky Emoji

Why I Quit My Full-Time Job to Focus on Hanging Out With My Unemployed Friends

I LIVED IT: I Asked for Someone’s Opinion on Two Options and They Chose the Wrong One

Help! I Started a Project and Now I Have to Keep Working on It

Why I Stopped Using Aluminum Deodorant Because It Was Locked Behind a Glass Case at CVS

Why I’m Only Getting Married for the Small Chance That Rihanna Could Perform at My Wedding

Why I Want a Guy Taller Than Me but Not Tall Enough That He Can See My Dandruff

How I Make Time for Reading by Turning on Subtitles

Why I’m Looking for a Friend With Benefits so I Can Have a Friend

DUDE CORNER: She Asked if I Hated Her and I Answered Honestly. Now I’m the Bad Guy.

How I Keep My Skin Dewy and Moisturized by Riding a Log Flume Twice a Day

I Don’t Exercise to Be Able to Hold My Grandchildren. I Do It so I Can Dunk on Them.

I Chose a Pescatarian Diet Because I Fucking Hate Fish

Why I’m Getting a Boyfriend Just so I Have Something to Tell My Hairstylist

Why I’m Having Kids so I Have Someone to Blame if My Makeup Looks Kind of Bad

I Thought Something Was Racist, but Then I Saw a Sign Above It That Said ‘End Racism’

Why I’m Applying to Harvard After Getting ‘Genius’ in Spelling Bee

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