Thoughts ARCHIVES

I LIVED IT: I Got the Zoomies But My Boss Wouldn’t Let Me Go Outside to Run Around

I LIVED IT: My Dream Was Derivative

How I Cured My Depression by Walking 5 Miles Every Day, the Exact Distance to My Ketamine Dealer’s House

I LIVED IT: I Thought It Was Tomorrow

I LIVED IT: I Timed My Edible Wrong and Watched ‘Planet Earth’ Sober

Why Major Elections Are Political Theater Designed to Distract Us From Local Issues, Which I Also Don’t Know About

I LIVED IT: I Accidentally Used My Therapy Personality in My Psychiatry Appointment

Why Moral Panic About the Sanctity of Strangers’ Marriage Is Actually Feminist

How I Engage My Core by Telling It About That Time I Thought I Saw Bill Murray

I LIVED IT: I Watched 50 Harry Styles Reels and Now the Instagram Algorithm Thinks I Like Harry Styles

I LIVED IT: My Mom Told Me How Much She Weighed When She Was My Age

How I Got Laid by Rebranding My Pussy as a Liminal Space

I LIVED IT: I Went on a Haunted Hayride and a Kid Thought I Was Part of It

I Deserve a Man Who Looks at Me Like I’m a Giant Cartoon Ham

Why I Stopped Taking Up Space and Started Collapsing in on Myself Like a Dying Star

I LIVED IT: I Aged Out of the 18-24 Category

Why I Stopped Keeping a List of Sexual Partners After I Hit Three Matts

Why I Stopped Composting and Started Shitting in My Yard

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