RECENT POSTS

News

Woman Claims to be Anti-Capitalist Despite Clearly Dating Mr. Monopoly

Thoughts

I Wear Headphones for the 90s Aesthetic, Not Because AirPods Won’t Fit in My Weirdly Shaped Ears

Please don’t look at them. It’s private.

News

The Gender Spectrum Collection

Study Finds You Can Just Say You’ve Heard of That Director

Literally no one can stop you.

I Lived it: Thoughts

I LIVED IT: I Invested in Myself and Now I Can’t Get Out

You aren’t worth it, girl!

News

REPORT: Woman Unsure How Many More ‘Sounds Good’s She Has in Her

Sources confirm McDougall did not indeed sound good.

Living

How to Channel the Delusional Confidence of Your College Alumni Association Asking You for Money

Here’s how to channel insane, delusional confidence.

Thoughts

The Lack of Paul Giamatti American Girl Dolls Is Discrimination Against Me, Paul Giamatti

“Why do we need this?” Wrong question. Why don’t we need this?

News

Study Finds Zoom Fatigue Worse for Hot Bisexuals

There’s a lot of pressure for hot bisexuals to endure everything and be the backbone of this nation.

News

Spooky! Cousin Just Referred to Their Other Grandparents

SpOoOoOoKy!!

Living

5 Tips for Handling Debilitating Depression That Don’t Work

Try these tips that don’t work!

Love and Sex

How to Play It Cool Even Though You’ve Imagined Being on a First-Name Basis With His Dick

Play it as cool as a cucumber, even though you’ve already named his.

News

‘Shakespeare is Actually Really Funny,’ Says Woman Who Needs to Watch TV

If she likes funny mixups, she should maybe consider a sitcom?

Thoughts

Why I Stopped People-Pleasing and Started Carrying Around the Big Spanking Spoon

I decided it was finally time to stop constantly being the people-pleaser and start carrying around the Spoon.

News

Obnoxious Ex-Couple Still Saying Kind Things About Each Other

Just talk a little shit.

Thoughts

Help! My Dog Has the Zoomies and Won’t Stop Scheduling Video Meetings

Could this be a sign of rabies? I have no idea what’s going on.

Living

How to Forgive Your Roommate for Getting in the Shower When You Were Considering Getting in the Shower

The unthinkable has happened.

Love and Sex

How to Separate the Art from the Artist So You Can Keep Using the Vibrator Your Ex Got You

It is, after all, a very good vibrator.

Thoughts

My Work Doesn’t Define Me, but Only Because I’m Not Succeeding at It Right Now

You simply cannot define me by what I do! At least not until I figure out how to succeed at it.

Love and Sex

QUIZ: Are You A Boobs Man, An Ass Man, or Have You Found God?

Everyone on this planet is one of three types of guy.

News

Woman Undergoes Hypnotic Regression to Recall Date of Last Period

Does anyone have this information handy?

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